JanFishler

Author ~ Happiness Coach

Writing Tips for Everybody

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Writing Tips for Everybody

Whether you’re writing articles, blog posts, a book, or creating social media content, at some point, you’re going to write.  Writing is something we’ve all been doing since grade school. Some of us love the process and other see it as a necessary evil. I’m one of the people who loves to write mostly because it helps me organize my thoughts and communicate them to my tribe.

Sometimes, when I have a problem to resolve, I write for my eyes only. I take a few deep breaths, put pen to paper, and let the words flow without regard to grammar, syntax, or structure. This is how I tap into my subconscious to see what’s really going on. I’m often surprised at what shows up. If you try this, start by asking a question. The subconscious loves to answer questions. For example, the topic of this blog post is Writing. But, the question I asked before I started writing was, “What writing tips can I share with LinkedIn readers?”

I offer offer a course designed to help people bring their book to life (Bring Your Book to Life). Last night I attended an eWomen Network meeting where I was sharing information about the writing course and I realized that the process I share over a weekend works for more than books. The list of chapters and the bullet points to be covered work for more than books.   Articles, blog posts, social media content–even speeches–can be the focus. One women shared that her first book was actually a collection of blog posts.

Getting back to the purpose of this post: Here are three tips that will help you write anything.

  1. Think about your audience and what you want to tell them. It is much easier to think than it is to write. I’m a huge fan of mind maps, but traditional outlines and bullet points also work. I also use 3×5 cards to capture thoughts because they are easy to organize. What does your audience need to know? What is the simplest way to give them that information?
  2. Turn your bulleted points or outline into questions and then answer them.  The subconscious mind loves to answer questions. It’s the quickest way I know to crank out content.
  3. Use language that speaks to your tribe. The words you choose to communicate with engineers will be different than the language you use to write an article about dating for teenage girls.

If you have questions about writing anything, please book a call. I can help you get whatever is in your head on the page where it can do some good!

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Jan Fishler is the author of Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (an adoption memoir), Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life, Flex Your Writing Muscle (365 Writing Prompts), and  PTSD: Lessons From Vietnam. She is a motivational speaker who also teaches writing classes online. More about Jan at www.JanFishler.net.

Try Writing Prompts — See Where They Take You

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Try Writing Prompts — See Where They Take You

I thought I’d start this month off by following a prompt from my book, Flex Your Writing Muscle—365 Writing Prompts, which is available on Amazon in paperback and in kindle. The prompts for June are based on The Book of Runes by Ralph Blum. My recommendation for all of the prompts is to pick one and write/type as quickly as you can for five minutes. If you find yourself lost in your words, then by all means continue. If not, close the book and move on to something more inspiring.

Don’t be surprised if the prompts jump-start your writing. A prompt could easily become your next blog post or the beginning of a new article or short story.

The prompt for June 1: What do you require for your wellbeing? I will admit, sometimes it’s easier to come up with these prompts than it is to answer them. Here goes…

Like many women,  my wellbeing requirements have changed over the years. What I required as a single person working in San Francisco changed when I became a parent, and continues to change as my adult children become more self-sufficient. As a single woman,  my wellbeing depended a lot on how my friendships were going, and getting through various ups and downs that came with navigating relationships. As a parent, my wellbeing is often tied into the health and happiness of my children. I want them to thrive, and when they hit a rough patch, it can become a difficult time for me too. As my adult children become more independent and self-sufficient, I can turn my attention to other things.

Two things that affect  my wellbeing are my health and my work. Fortunately, my health is better than that of most people my age. I like being strong and fit and spend about six hours a week lifting weights and taking a dance aerobics class at my local gym. Working out helps me focus and decreases stress. It’s something I’ve been doing for decades and I have no intention of ever stopping. Occasionally, I might take a break, but I always come back.

My wellbeing is also tied up in my work—whether I’m writing for myself or for others—and in being of service. Early in my career I vacillated between corporate gigs and the nonprofit sector. I needed money to pay off my student loans, but experienced a great deal of satisfaction in helping others. As a result, I often worked in the nonprofit world—writing grants, serving on a board of directors, and even producing a telethon. Today, I’m still on the board of a non-profit and I also write grants for a local organization. I volunteer because giving makes me feel good and enhances my overall wellbeing.

If I’m completely honest, there are other things that increase my wellbeing…I love a chilled glass of good Chardonnay, a thick juicy burger hot off the grill, hiking just about anywhere—even in the rain, walking with my dog, seeing a good movie in a theater, bag of large buttered popcorn in my lap, having lunch with a good friend, and dancing to a live Zydeco music.

When I look at the wellbeing I have in my life, I feel an enormous amount appreciation and gratitude and see a positive cycle that continues.

What brings you the peace, comfort, security, and happiness you associate with wellbeing? Take five minutes to answer that question and see where it takes you.

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Jan Fishler is the producer of the Path to Publication DVD series filmed at the Squaw Valley Community of Writers featuring Amy Tan, Janet Fitch, Mark Childress and other well-known authors, agents, and publishers. She is the author of Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (An Adoption Memoir) and Flex Your Writing Muscle – 365 Days of Writing Prompts. She writes articles for VietNow National Magazine and has a bi-monthly column, “Healthy Options” in The Union newspaper.

 

 

5 Steps to Overcome Resistance

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5 Steps to Overcome Resistance

January has come and gone and here it is mid-February and I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the sentence, “Whatever we resist persists,” that I read in The Presence Process, by Michael Brown. It’s such a simple and obvious statement of truth, that it hard seems worthy of mention, let alone a blog post, but the effects of these four words keep coming back to haunt me. Of course, when faced with something harmful or dangerous, resistance can save your life, but what about the things we resist doing that could ultimately be beneficial?

For example, for the last two years I’ve resisted: losing the last five pounds, finishing a novel I’ve been working on for at least the same amount of time, checking in on old friends, getting help with my website, cleaning the garage, and painting the house. Obviously, some of these tasks may be more objectionable than others, but I’m resisting things that could ultimately bring me satisfaction and enjoyment. In other words, my resistance is a form a self-sabotage, and it is preventing me from getting what I really desire.

Let’s start with something easy like losing 5 pounds. If I lose five pounds, my clothes will feel more comfortable, and I’ll feel better about my appearance. With a goal of losing two pounds a week—something that is entirely attainable—I could easily be at my desired weight in a month. But it doesn’t happen.

Another case in point is my unfinished novel. I know that if I were to write for one hour each day, I would have a draft within four months. Finishing my book would be a fantastic accomplishment, yet I can’t seem to make time for it.

When we know the desired outcome is something that will ultimately make life better, why do we persist in not fulfilling our dreams? We resist and the obstacle—the very thing we desire to overcome—persists. I’m not a psychologist, but it’s my belief that we are so entrenched in our patterns of behavior that even the smallest deviation is difficult. We are creatures of habit and our brain doesn’t care whether the habit is one that benefits or sabotages us. The issue then is how to overcome our programming (trick our brain) into accepting new patterns.  Here are five steps I believe will work:

  1. Pick one thing you have been resisting and focus on only that. If you have a list of projects you’ve been resisting, begin with something you can accomplish in a relatively short amount of time. The goal here is to experience success as quickly as possible so that your brain gets with the new program—the one that forges ahead regardless of obstacles and previous experiences. If we try to reach too many goals or make too many changes all at once, we dilute our efforts and accomplish little or nothing.
  2. Set realistic goals. If you need to lose 5 pounds, give yourself three weeks. If you want to read the collected works of Shakespeare, then you might want to break your efforts into smaller steps like reading one play a week. Note to self: If you are completing a novel, make that project a priority for at least 4 months and then adhere to a schedule.
  3. Be clear about the benefits you will receive by making the desired change. If I lose 5 pounds my jeans will feel more comfortable and I’ll look better in them. If I carve out a reasonable amount of time to work on and complete my novel, eventually, I’ll have a first draft, and be on my way to completing something I really want to finish.
  4. Publicly announce the change you intend to make. Weight Watchers, AA, and other support groups are forums designed to hold people accountable. Showing up and being in the presence of others who have similar goals is what creates accountability. Go ahead, state your intention to a few friends or co-workers and elicit the support you need to get what you want.
  5. Reward your efforts. If you have ever trained a dog, you know how effective those treats can be. Our brains are wired the same way. When we did a good job as kids we received “A”s, gold stars, ice cream, or something similar for a job well done. Those rewards worked to keep us motivated. Adults need rewards too. One writer I know uses email as her reward. She doesn’t check it until she’s completed writing her quota for the day. Whether you take yourself out for coffee, go to a movie, or buy a new pair of jeans, be sure to build in rewards for your accomplishments – little rewards for the small achievements and big rewards for landmarks.
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Do you procrastinate? Do you keep putting that important writing project on the back burner even though it could cost you your job? Would you like to finally eliminate the major obstacle that prevents most writers from getting their thoughts on the page quickly and painlessly? Subscribe to my Newsletter (upper right corner) and the solution will be delivered directly to your inbox. 

 

How to Write Fast

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How to Write Fast

Recently, I’ve been collaborating on a project with another writer who is amazed at how quickly I crank out new material. “How do you write so fast?” she asked. Because I didn’t realize that my writing speed was faster than anyone else’s, I had to think about how to answer her question. In hindsight, perhaps I do have a few tricks up my sleeve. Good news: It’s easy to learn how to write fast.

Planning is always my first step. Before I write anything, I think about it and develop a strategy. Sometimes, I do this in my head, but for more complex projects I complete a list or make an outline. This approach stems from my days as a corporate scriptwriter and video producer where pre-production planning is built into the process. Because of the cost involved (before everyone and their brother started making videos on their smart phone), no producer would ever proceed without a detailed plan and a budget. If I’m writing something short, like an article or a blog post, it’s so much easier to jot down my thoughts and arrange them in some logical sequence before I begin looking for the right words.  To write fast, you need to plan.

For me, part of the planning process is research—making sure I have more information than I need to write about a particular topic. Google is a lifesaver, but depending on the size of the project, I often take time to read books on the subject or interview experts. Once my brain is filled with information on a particular topic, it’s very easy to get out of my way and let the words flow. To write fast you need to know your subject.

Getting out of the way is something I learned many years ago while videotaping a series of hypnosis training classes. Because the brain is so open to suggestion, it is easy to take a few deep, calm, relaxing breaths and plant a few simple suggestions, like: I write quickly and effortlessly. I complete my writing assignments in record time. I know everything I need to know to quickly write this article. You get the idea. This approach can be even more effective if you also visualize the desired outcome such as seeing a happy client hand you a large check or picturing your novel on the shelves of the major bookstores. To write fast, you need to visualize the desired outcome.

Letting the words flow is really the key to writing fast. Because I have an outline and a lot of information in my head, and I’ve pictured the desired outcome, when I do sit down at the computer to write, I don’t spend time thinking about sentence structure, grammar or whether I have the facts straight. Typically, I bang out a first draft and then go back and clean it up.

Another trick is setting a kitchen timer for five minutes and writing non-stop until it goes off. Try experimenting and see how many words you write in this amount of time. Generally, when I do this, I can produce an average of 250 to 300 words. I also use this technique when I’m looking for a way to begin a story or article. I give myself five minutes to try out opening sentences. When I step out of the way, I’m always amazed at what magically appears on the page.

 

 

Falling off the Blogging Wagon – Writing Fiction

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Falling off the Blogging Wagon – Writing Fiction

Since the beginning of the New Year, I’ve fallen off the blogging wagon. It’s not like I haven’t been writing though, I just haven’t been keeping up with my blog. This morning I woke up at 5:30, and decided it was time to get back into my morning blogging routine, so now, here I sit with my cup of Chai Masala Organic Tulsi tea from India waiting for my muse. How, when I had so much blogging momentum going, did I manage to lose my way?

The trip to Arizona did it. In early February my daughter, who had been struggling with Lyme Disease for the past eight years, called to tell me she was going downhill fast, and I needed to help her find something that would work. By the end of the month, we were in Scottsdale where she started treatment. (Check out www.SundridgeMedical.com). We were there for a month, returning at the end of March, and today her health continues to improve. In fact, she’s going back to school in a couple of weeks and is looking forward to getting her cosmetology license and working in her field. After so many years of being sick, it is such a relief to see her firmly planted on the road to health.

While the outcome of the trip was successful, the change in my routine derailed me. Instead of writing each morning, my daughter and I would put on bathing suits and trot across the road for a hot tub and swim—what a wonderful way to start the day! Because I’m someone who is also in the habit of blogging in the morning, within days, I was adrift. And I’ve been drifting ever since—catching up on bills, organizing taxes, weeding out my closets, planting a spring garden, seeing friends, and writing fiction.

Since completing my memoir, I’ve wanted to write a fictionalized account of my birth mother, Jane, who I never met. I even followed 74 days of writing prompts and blogged about the book I was going to write (see the posts at www.searchingforjane.com). While the prompts didn’t get me to write the book, they did get me to think about it. I picked my characters, outlined a plot, wrote some dialogue and even cranked out a couple of scenes, but I wasn’t serious. About a month ago, I joined a fiction writing group. We meet every other Monday evening and I’m taking the commitment seriously. The members of the group are published authors and I couldn’t ask for better company. Because I feel privileged to be part of this group and have tremendous respect for their feedback, I am motivated to show up with my five pages. It turns out that accountability motivates me.

Having a writing routine does the same thing. It keeps me on track, and forces me to be accountable—even if it’s only to myself. Starting today, I’ve made a commitment to write every morning. I’ll blog at least two mornings a week and spend the other mornings writing scenes for my novel. I know this is only day one, but It feels really good to be back on the wagon.

The Power of Affirmations

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The Power of Affirmations

Affirmations — present tense, positive, personal and specific statements — are one of many tools that can help writers accomplish their goals. Over the years, I’ve collected an arsenal of tools and techniques for getting out of my critical left brain and moving over to the holistic and creative right side where ideas flow, unobstructed. Affirmations are one of the easiest tools to use. I write mine on brightly colored sticky notes posted around my computer. Before I write, if I feel like I need a jump-start, I repeat them to myself. Over the years, I’ve added to my list.

For the past two Sundays I’ve held Write YOUR Story Workshops in the town where I live. In addition to sharing my memoir writing techniques with other writers — both new and experienced — the best part of the workshop for me is the end, where people share what they’ve written. I am consistently amazed at the quality of the writing — especially from those who say they haven’t written before. I attribute this to the “free yourself to write” content that is presented during the  first half of the workshop. Affirmations are one my of my favorite tools. During the workshops, I share some of my own, but I’ve been collecting others from recent workshop participants and thought I’d share them with you.

If you want to benefit from affirmations, pick a few that might enhance your writing experience or write your own. Then, repeat or write them several times throughout the day.The theory is that your brain believes and accepts positive statements as the truth.

These 12 affirmations will get you started.

  1. I am an excellent writer.
  2. Words flow from me like water.
  3. I enjoy writing.
  4. I can write any place, any time.
  5. I am paid well for my words.
  6. I write prolifically.
  7. My subconscious mind knows exactly what needs to be written.
  8. People enjoy reading my writing.
  9. I have something to say and others want to hear it.
  10. I move people with my words.
  11. If I can think it, I can write it.
  12. I connecting unexpected things with writing.

If you want to learn more about how and why affirmations work.  Check out the following resources:

  • Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
  • Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret (also a 2006 film)
  • You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
  • Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain (This book is a classic!)

Whatever you do….Speak your truth, and write your story!

Writing Prompt: Write About Resistance

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 Writing Prompt: Write About Resistance

According to some online dictionaries, resistance is, “The act of opposing or withstanding;”  “A force that tends to oppose or retard motion;” “The refusal to accept or comply with something.” What do you resist? What would your life be like if you embraced it instead? Write about resistance and see what comes up for you.

The other morning I wrote one of my many to-do lists and saw that a few of the items are repeats from previous lists. I’m resisting certain activities, and most of them have to do with marketing my services. For example, I haven’t hung posters or sent the press release about an upcoming workshop. I haven’t contacted the activity directors at the 55+ communities in my area about teaching memoir-writing. Although I did manage to compile an impressive list of contacts at cruise Lines, I have resisted making the calls. I’m not sure what this resistance is all about, but I suspect it’s fear of something–success,  failure, or most likely, rejection. As an adoptee whose core issue is abandonment, it would make sense that fear of rejection is the culprit. Logically, this is ridiculous. Marketing is nothing more than letting people know about my services and seeing if there’s a match.

Resistance is a form of self-sabotage, a destructive and negative pattern that prevents us from doing what we want and having what we need.  I think the trick to eliminating resistance to certain tasks is to pick one or two and simply focus on them until they are accomplished, without giving too much thought to the outcome, without over-thinking it. For instance, today, I will pick up the phone and call one activity director and one cruise ship and see what I can discover about their needs. There. It’s done.

But in some cases resistance is more insidious.

When I think about resistance, I realize it’s been a thread throughout my life. Why else would I hold on to the last 10 pounds, people who no longer serve me, or thoughts and beliefs that no longer work? What would my life be like if I embraced the things I tend to resist? If I avoided the foods that give me the extra padding?  If I spent less time with people who hold me back and more time with individuals who are getting things done? If I shooed away negative thoughts?

If I answer these questions honestly, I arrive at an interesting picture. If I didn’t resist losing the last 10 pounds, my clothes would fit better and I would feel better too. If I didn’t resist calling activity directors, I’d probably have seminars and workshops scheduled for spring and summer. If I didn’t resist calling cruise ships, I’d have my audition behind me, and travel to various port cities in my immediate future. In other words, I’d have what I want.

I’ll save why I get into self-sabotage for another prompt.  For me, this one has been insightful enough. Writing is an excellent  way to notice and make sense of situations that I tend to ignore. What does writing do for you?

Writing Prompt: Write About Something That Annoys You

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Writing prompts can be an ideal way to jump-start the 5-minute writing process, which is why I’m going to provide one each time I post. Today’s prompt is: write about something that annoys you. Sometimes the things that bug us can eventually be the source of humor. When you can’t see the humor in the situation or you can’t yet make sense of it, writing is an excellent way to process our feelings.

Dance Class Bullies

For me the issue is the women at my aerobic dance class who believe they are entitled to a certain spot on the floor.  These dance class bullies arrive late, and instead of taking a place that is available, usually in the back of the room, they go exactly where they want to be–regardless of who is standing there. Because most of the women are too nice to stand their ground, they defer. I’ve been watching this for years, and thought I was prepared to handle the situation– stand my ground and not succumb if it ever happened to me.  I’d even mentally rehearsed a sassy comeback, “Oh, I didn’t realize you could reserve a spot on the floor! Do you pay extra for that?”

Last week I had an opportunity to put my plan into action. Generally, I arrive a few minutes before class begins and although I prefer to stand in the second row, just left of center, I’m flexible.  On this particular day, I arrived early enough to grab my most coveted place. While waiting for the class to begin I did a few stretches, smiled at a few of the regulars–women I’ve been dancing with off and on for the past 10 years–and waited for the music to begin. A few moments into the first song, I felt cold hands on my shoulders and heard a voice whisper in my ear, “Chris isn’t here today. Move up so I can stand in your spot.” At the same time, this woman gave me a little shove toward the empty place. My response was visceral. As the fight or flight response kicked in, adrenalin began to flow. Who are you to tell me what to do you little bitch? How dare you!  My rebellious teenage self kicked in, but she wasn’t able to talk. Instead, she moved to the other side of the room where she fumed through the entire workout.

Halfway through the class the bitch apologized.  But the reality is, she got my spot. I too had become a victim of a dance class bully.  All the preparation in the world didn’t save me.  What’s worse, I’ve avoided standing near this woman ever since. Because I believe that experiences like this–that trigger our emotions–are messages in disguise, I’ve been searching for the lesson here. The truth is, I’m still working on it. The situation caught me by surprise and trigger a negative response. By pushing me and telling me what to do, the dance class bully treated me like a child. Emotionally, I reacted like, but fortunately, I was able to contain myself and not say anything I would later regret. I think I got the message, but I’ll know for sure when I can stand by the bully and not let her presence annoy me.

What annoys you?  If you follow this writing prompt, I invite you to post it in the comment section.

 

My Blog Content: 100 Writing Tips & Prompts

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My Blog Content: 100 Writing Tips & Prompts

I finally got clear: from this point on, my blog content will focus on writing tips and prompts and anything else that will help new and experienced writers enjoy the process and stay on the path.

I spent the last part of 2012 launching my new business, doing everything people do to get started–from planning to developing a website, and everything in between. So far, my blog content  has meandered covering everything from SEO and getting organized to eBook publishing and social media planning. It occurred to me that it would benefit me and my readers if I had a focus that supported my work as an author, writing coach, and developer of the Write YOUR Story workshop.

My half day workshops are designed for people who think they can’t write, who don’t believe they have time to write, or don’t know how to begin, but who want to record a legacy, share an amazing experience, heal a painful memory, or write for fun and enjoyment.In addition to the workshop, what information could I provide that would be helpful and motivational?

Every time I asked myself this question, the answer was: writing tips and prompts. Tomorrow, I’m meeting with my graphic designer,  to finish up a pdf, “100 Writing Tips & Prompts To Keep You on the Writing Path,”  that will be my gift to blog subscribers. The tips and prompts come from my own experience and from classes and workshops I’ve attended as well as from such classics as The Elements of Style. All of the prompts are short and to the point.

Experienced writers might want to read through the entire list in one sitting and use the tips as a refresher. New or newer writers might want to spend a day or more on each tip, taking time to digest the information, perhaps even doing additional research on your own.

Regardless of whether you’re writing in a journal, posting to your blog, writing poems and short stories, or working on the great American novel, the idea is to enjoy the writing process as you improve your skills. After all, writing is a craft and, like anything, the more time you put in, the better you are likely to get.

I’ll say it again, from this point on, my blog content will focus on writing tips and prompts and anything else that will help new and experienced writers enjoy the process and stay on the path.

Writing Prompt: Write From the Heart

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A THOUGHT FOR TODAY:

The sense of wishing to be known only for what one really is is like putting on an old, easy, comfortable garment. You are no longer afraid of anybody or anything. You say to yourself, ‘Here I am — just so ugly, dull, poor, beautiful, rich, interesting, amusing, ridiculous — take me or leave me.’ And how absolutely beautiful it is to be doing only what lies within your own capabilities and is part of your own nature. It is like a great burden rolled off a man’s back when he comes to want to appear nothing that he is not, to take out of life only what is truly his own. -David Grayson, journalist and author (1870-1946)

I was wondering what to write about this morning and I saw this quote, which made me realize how important it is to write from the heart. I spent much of my writing career doing exactly the opposite. I wrote technical and training manuals, white papers, and scripts for corporate videos. It’s not as if this was a bad thing. It paid the bills and served me and my family for a significant period of time.  It was safe in the way writing about things rather than feelings can be.

To write about feelings or to write  from the heart, takes courage. It means not  being afraid of anybody or anything, and in many cases, telling your inner critic to pay attention to something else. Some of us are able to do this right out of the gate.  Anne Lamott, for example, did this in Operating Instructions, published in the late 80’s.  I remember reading about her experience of being a new parent and the loss of her best friend, and wishing I could put myself out there like that, something that took me another two decades to accomplish.

When some people read my memoir, they are astonished at how much I reveal about myself. I understand that this is something many people are unable to do. They are afraid to speak their truth, and I understand how that happens.  Years of conditioning by parents and peers about how we should or shouldn’t behave, stop us from speaking out or writing it down.

Often our truth is tied to our shadow side, and we are afraid that if people knew who we really were in all of our raw vulnerability, they wouldn’t love us anymore. In my experience, the opposite is true. The more you write from the heart, the more you speak and live your truth, the more love you receive.

Just for today, you might want to give it a try:  Write something from the heart.  See how it feels.