JanFishler

Author ~ Writing Coach

  • HOME
  • BOOKS
  • COURSES
  • BLOG
  • FREEBIES
  • CONTACT ME

Courage to Write

By Janfishler Leave a Comment

Writing a memoir takes courage. It often means taking a deep dive into the past and sharing secrets with strangers, family and friends. Judgment of your work and of your life looms large–another reason why you have to be courageous. This past month I’ve been teaching thirteen brave women how to write a memoir. For most of the women, the  topics they have chosen to write about requires delving deep into and making sense of childhood memories. Three of the women are writing about growing up with mothers who were mentally ill. They are on a rough road  that will ultimately lead to healing. Processing memories and feelings that come up is not easy but it is possible.

When I wrote my adoption memoir, I cried every time I sat down. Often, I wasn’t sure why there were so many tears, but I let them flow until they stopped. Then I wrote.  Each word helped me makes sense of the abandonment I experienced as an infant. It took courage to write this story.

Some memoirs are on lighter topics. One women is writing about her childhood in India before she moved to America.  The youngest of nine children raised by a single mother with a third grade education, her success story is nothing short of miraculous. Topics covered during this most recent class are: online dating, fraud, quirky friends, watching a friend battle AIDS, an illustrious business career and open marriage. These are the stories shared by brave women–some for posterity others for publication. I feel so privileged  to shepherd the process. Once everyone knows the rules for this type of writing, they practice the craft word-by-word, paragraph-by-paragraph, scene-by-scene. For all topics, courage is required to tell a story with passion and honesty.

To make it easy to get feedback on their writing,  I encourage people to write every day and share in a private Facebook group. Reading what others write is helpful. It inspires confidence and fosters honesty. It’s not easy to reveal inner thoughts and feelings and seeing someone else do it helps you to take a risk. As author Anne Lamott says, “You own every that happened to you. Tell your stories. if people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” Once you gather courage, you can  write your truth–the story you were meant to tell.

If you want to write a memoir, here is how to get started:

1. Follow Habit #2 from Stephen Covey’s The 7Habits of Highly Effective People.  “Begin with the end in mind.” Begin each project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination. Then, make it happen. My dad used to say, “If you don’t know where you’re going, it doesn’t matter what road you take, any road will get you there.”  Before you begin to write, be clear about your destination, your goal.

2. Set aside a time and place to write every day–even if it’s only five or ten minutes–and write. Writing is a craft and the best way to perfect the craft is to develop a writing habit.

3. Write with reckless abandon and without judgment.  Let the worlds flow without paying attention to grammar, spelling, syntax or the voice of your high school English teacher. Once you have a “shitty” first draft, you have something to work with.

#     #     #

Jan Fishler is the author of Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (an adoption memoir), Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life, Flex Your Writing Muscle (365 Writing Prompts), and  PTSD: Lessons From Vietnam. She is a motivational speaker who also teaches writing classes online. More about Jan at www.JanFishler.net

 

 

 

Filed Under: Commentary on Writing and Life Tagged With: author, Jan Fishler, janfishler, memoir, writing, writing workshop

2-Hour FREE Writing Workshop at Sierra Commons in Nevada City, CA

By Janfishler Leave a Comment

Entrepreneur? Consultant? You Need a Book!

On Sept 19th  from noon until 2:00 p.m. I’ll be teaching the first part of my Your Book: Just Write It! workshop at Sierra Commons.  Bring your lunch and let me help you bring your book to life.

During this FREE two-hour class, You’ll define your book and get a jump-start on making it happen. The first hour will be full of information and the second our will be Q & A and/or time to write.

If you’re ready to become a published author, I hope you’ll join me.

Call Sierra Commons and reserve your seat. (530) 265-8443

Tagged With: Jan Fishler, Sierra Commons, writing workshop

What’s Up for 2015

By Janfishler Leave a Comment

Last year I posted a writing prompt for each day. I hope you enjoyed receiving them and that they helped you write. In fact, if the prompts helped you, please let me know. For many people prompts are a great way to jump-start the brain and get the creative juices flowing.

This year, I have some new things in store and I’m really excited to share them with you. In fact, my goal for 2015 is to help YOU write anything quickly and painlessly or, I can always do it for you.

In January and February I’m teaching a Yes! You Can Write a Screenplay  workshop at NCTV. Learn about format, story, characters, beats, scenes, locations, dialogue and more! The 6-week class is offered every Tuesday evening from 6:00-8:00p.m. beginning Tuesday January 20, ending February 24. I’ll also be teaching a weekend intensive on February 21 and 22. Call NCTV at 272-8862 to reserve your seat.

In March I’ll be teaching a Write Your Story Workshop. Check the home page.

If you’re a writer who is looking for accountability, inspiration, feedback and more, be sure to check out the Just Write It! Meetup. We meet at Summer Thyme’s in Grass Valley from 5:00-6:30 p.m. once a month (We’ve moved to the 3rd Thursday beginning in February, 2015).

I’m also going to have a bi-monthly column in The Union newspaper on alternative health options. The column will be published the first and third Tuesdays of each month on page A3 beginning January 6, 2015.  Be sure to check it out. If you know any good, local alternative practitioners, please send them my way!

Here’s to the best writing year ever!!

Be happy. Be well. And write!

—————————–

Do you procrastinate? Do you keep putting that important writing project on the back burner even though it could cost you your job? Would you like to finally eliminate the major obstacle that prevents most writers from getting their thoughts on the page quickly and painlessly? Subscribe to my Newsletter (upper right corner) and the solution will be delivered directly to your inbox. 

 

 

Filed Under: Commentary on Writing and Life Tagged With: Jan Fishler, Meetup, writing, Writing classes, writing workshops

The Power of Affirmations

By Janfishler Leave a Comment

The Power of Affirmations

Affirmations — present tense, positive, personal and specific statements — are one of many tools that can help writers accomplish their goals. Over the years, I’ve collected an arsenal of tools and techniques for getting out of my critical left brain and moving over to the holistic and creative right side where ideas flow, unobstructed. Affirmations are one of the easiest tools to use. I write mine on brightly colored sticky notes posted around my computer. Before I write, if I feel like I need a jump-start, I repeat them to myself. Over the years, I’ve added to my list.

For the past two Sundays I’ve held Write YOUR Story Workshops in the town where I live. In addition to sharing my memoir writing techniques with other writers — both new and experienced — the best part of the workshop for me is the end, where people share what they’ve written. I am consistently amazed at the quality of the writing — especially from those who say they haven’t written before. I attribute this to the “free yourself to write” content that is presented during the  first half of the workshop. Affirmations are one my of my favorite tools. During the workshops, I share some of my own, but I’ve been collecting others from recent workshop participants and thought I’d share them with you.

If you want to benefit from affirmations, pick a few that might enhance your writing experience or write your own. Then, repeat or write them several times throughout the day.The theory is that your brain believes and accepts positive statements as the truth.

These 12 affirmations will get you started.

  1. I am an excellent writer.
  2. Words flow from me like water.
  3. I enjoy writing.
  4. I can write any place, any time.
  5. I am paid well for my words.
  6. I write prolifically.
  7. My subconscious mind knows exactly what needs to be written.
  8. People enjoy reading my writing.
  9. I have something to say and others want to hear it.
  10. I move people with my words.
  11. If I can think it, I can write it.
  12. I connecting unexpected things with writing.

If you want to learn more about how and why affirmations work.  Check out the following resources:

  • Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
  • Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret (also a 2006 film)
  • You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
  • Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain (This book is a classic!)

Whatever you do….Speak your truth, and write your story!

Filed Under: Writing Tips Tagged With: affirmations, Jan Fishler, Writing Process, writing tips

Writing Prompt: Write About Resistance

By Janfishler Leave a Comment

 Writing Prompt: Write About Resistance

According to some online dictionaries, resistance is, “The act of opposing or withstanding;”  “A force that tends to oppose or retard motion;” “The refusal to accept or comply with something.” What do you resist? What would your life be like if you embraced it instead? Write about resistance and see what comes up for you.

The other morning I wrote one of my many to-do lists and saw that a few of the items are repeats from previous lists. I’m resisting certain activities, and most of them have to do with marketing my services. For example, I haven’t hung posters or sent the press release about an upcoming workshop. I haven’t contacted the activity directors at the 55+ communities in my area about teaching memoir-writing. Although I did manage to compile an impressive list of contacts at cruise Lines, I have resisted making the calls. I’m not sure what this resistance is all about, but I suspect it’s fear of something–success,  failure, or most likely, rejection. As an adoptee whose core issue is abandonment, it would make sense that fear of rejection is the culprit. Logically, this is ridiculous. Marketing is nothing more than letting people know about my services and seeing if there’s a match.

Resistance is a form of self-sabotage, a destructive and negative pattern that prevents us from doing what we want and having what we need.  I think the trick to eliminating resistance to certain tasks is to pick one or two and simply focus on them until they are accomplished, without giving too much thought to the outcome, without over-thinking it. For instance, today, I will pick up the phone and call one activity director and one cruise ship and see what I can discover about their needs. There. It’s done.

But in some cases resistance is more insidious.

When I think about resistance, I realize it’s been a thread throughout my life. Why else would I hold on to the last 10 pounds, people who no longer serve me, or thoughts and beliefs that no longer work? What would my life be like if I embraced the things I tend to resist? If I avoided the foods that give me the extra padding?  If I spent less time with people who hold me back and more time with individuals who are getting things done? If I shooed away negative thoughts?

If I answer these questions honestly, I arrive at an interesting picture. If I didn’t resist losing the last 10 pounds, my clothes would fit better and I would feel better too. If I didn’t resist calling activity directors, I’d probably have seminars and workshops scheduled for spring and summer. If I didn’t resist calling cruise ships, I’d have my audition behind me, and travel to various port cities in my immediate future. In other words, I’d have what I want.

I’ll save why I get into self-sabotage for another prompt.  For me, this one has been insightful enough. Writing is an excellent  way to notice and make sense of situations that I tend to ignore. What does writing do for you?

Filed Under: Writing Prompts Tagged With: Jan Fishler, Resistance, Writing Process, writing prompts, writing tips

Writing Prompt: Write About Something That Annoys You

By Janfishler Leave a Comment

Writing prompts can be an ideal way to jump-start the 5-minute writing process, which is why I’m going to provide one each time I post. Today’s prompt is: write about something that annoys you. Sometimes the things that bug us can eventually be the source of humor. When you can’t see the humor in the situation or you can’t yet make sense of it, writing is an excellent way to process our feelings.

Dance Class Bullies

For me the issue is the women at my aerobic dance class who believe they are entitled to a certain spot on the floor.  These dance class bullies arrive late, and instead of taking a place that is available, usually in the back of the room, they go exactly where they want to be–regardless of who is standing there. Because most of the women are too nice to stand their ground, they defer. I’ve been watching this for years, and thought I was prepared to handle the situation– stand my ground and not succumb if it ever happened to me.  I’d even mentally rehearsed a sassy comeback, “Oh, I didn’t realize you could reserve a spot on the floor! Do you pay extra for that?”

Last week I had an opportunity to put my plan into action. Generally, I arrive a few minutes before class begins and although I prefer to stand in the second row, just left of center, I’m flexible.  On this particular day, I arrived early enough to grab my most coveted place. While waiting for the class to begin I did a few stretches, smiled at a few of the regulars–women I’ve been dancing with off and on for the past 10 years–and waited for the music to begin. A few moments into the first song, I felt cold hands on my shoulders and heard a voice whisper in my ear, “Chris isn’t here today. Move up so I can stand in your spot.” At the same time, this woman gave me a little shove toward the empty place. My response was visceral. As the fight or flight response kicked in, adrenalin began to flow. Who are you to tell me what to do you little bitch? How dare you!  My rebellious teenage self kicked in, but she wasn’t able to talk. Instead, she moved to the other side of the room where she fumed through the entire workout.

Halfway through the class the bitch apologized.  But the reality is, she got my spot. I too had become a victim of a dance class bully.  All the preparation in the world didn’t save me.  What’s worse, I’ve avoided standing near this woman ever since. Because I believe that experiences like this–that trigger our emotions–are messages in disguise, I’ve been searching for the lesson here. The truth is, I’m still working on it. The situation caught me by surprise and trigger a negative response. By pushing me and telling me what to do, the dance class bully treated me like a child. Emotionally, I reacted like, but fortunately, I was able to contain myself and not say anything I would later regret. I think I got the message, but I’ll know for sure when I can stand by the bully and not let her presence annoy me.

What annoys you?  If you follow this writing prompt, I invite you to post it in the comment section.

 

Filed Under: Writing Prompts Tagged With: Jan Fishler, Writing Process, writing prompt, writing prompts, writing tips

The Next Big Thing

By Janfishler Leave a Comment

The Next Big Thing

My thanks to Ron Cherry for inviting me to be a part of this week’s The Next Big Thing blog posting group.

The Next Big Thing is a meme that is creating an ever growing wave through the blogs of authors who write in a variety of genres, with each participant answering the same questions about either a work in progress or a work currently being marketed.  Each author then chooses five other authors to keep the chain going.  The following is my contribution:

1. What is the title of your book?
The title of my book is Searching for Jane, Finding Myself. It’s an adoption memoir.

2. How did you come by the idea?
I always knew I was adopted, but I had no information about my birth mother other than the lie that she had died during childbirth. When I was forty, I decided it was time to search. Whenever I told someone my story, the response was either, “Oh my God, you should write a book about it!”, or “Oh my God, you should be on Oprah.” Finally, I did.

3. What genre does your book fall under?
Memoir. It’s a look inside the heart and soul of my adoption—how being adopted affected me growing up and my perspective as an adult—one who is not only older, but also wiser.

4. Which actors would you choose to play your characters if it were a movie?
I always saw Jamie Lee Curtis playing the lead. When my hair was short I was often told I looked like her. Because of the resemblance, I thought mistakenly that Janet Lee was my birth mother. Also, Jamie Lee Curtis has adopted children of her own, so I imagined she would have an interest in the movie.

5. What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?
Searching for Jane, Finding Myself inspires us to find the truth, however difficult and fearsome the search may be.

6. Will your book be self-published or traditional?
Tin Cat Media, is my small, independent publishing company.

7. How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?
I wrote the manuscript in my head for about 7 years. When I finally sat down to write, it took about three months.

8. What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
There are several memoirs on the topic of adoption. Most are about adopting children from other countries. Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited is a compelling read. I also thought Found A Memoir and Mamalita, An Adoption Memoir were captivating adoption stories

9. Who or what inspired you to write this book?
Friends and family inspired me to write this book. Anyone who ever talked to me about adoption know how important it was for me to discover the truth—whatever it might have been. I wasn’t looking for a relationship with my birth mother, I just wanted to know who she was, more important, who I was. My ethnic background, my religion, where my ancestors came from—the things everyone else takes for granted.

10. What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?
Readers who enjoy good human interest stories will enjoy my book.  It’s an easy read and an honest expose about what it feels like to be an adopted child. If you’re not adopted it’s a peek into mind and heart of an adoptee. If you’re part of the adoption triad, it’s confirmation about your own feelings.

The four authors I’ve chosen to continue the chain on or about December 24rd are…
Tony Richards:  http://raineslanding.blogspot.co.uk
Delinda McCann: http://delindalmccann.weebly.com/blog.html
J. A. Vasquez:  http://www.BooksThatSow.com
Ron Cherry: http://www.rlcherry.com
…but don’t wait that long to visit these interesting blogs of 4 very different writers.

Copyright © 2012, Jan Fishler
—
Jan Fishler
Author ~ Writing Coach ~ Presenter
Speak Your Truth, Write Your Story
www.janfishler.net
Phone: 530-264-5105

 

 

 

Filed Under: Commentary on Writing and Life Tagged With: adoption, Finding Myself (An Adoption Memoir), Jan Fishler, memoir, Searching for Jane, writing

Sign up for
email updates
and get a
FREE COPY of
Flex Your
Writing Muscle

Your Book:Just Write it!

* indicates required

Most Recent Book

Don't Stop Book

Schedule a Free Call

Copyright © 2023 · Jan Fishler