JanFishler

Author ~ Writing Coach

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Courage to Write

By Janfishler Leave a Comment

Writing a memoir takes courage. It often means taking a deep dive into the past and sharing secrets with strangers, family and friends. Judgment of your work and of your life looms large–another reason why you have to be courageous. This past month I’ve been teaching thirteen brave women how to write a memoir. For most of the women, the  topics they have chosen to write about requires delving deep into and making sense of childhood memories. Three of the women are writing about growing up with mothers who were mentally ill. They are on a rough road  that will ultimately lead to healing. Processing memories and feelings that come up is not easy but it is possible.

When I wrote my adoption memoir, I cried every time I sat down. Often, I wasn’t sure why there were so many tears, but I let them flow until they stopped. Then I wrote.  Each word helped me makes sense of the abandonment I experienced as an infant. It took courage to write this story.

Some memoirs are on lighter topics. One women is writing about her childhood in India before she moved to America.  The youngest of nine children raised by a single mother with a third grade education, her success story is nothing short of miraculous. Topics covered during this most recent class are: online dating, fraud, quirky friends, watching a friend battle AIDS, an illustrious business career and open marriage. These are the stories shared by brave women–some for posterity others for publication. I feel so privileged  to shepherd the process. Once everyone knows the rules for this type of writing, they practice the craft word-by-word, paragraph-by-paragraph, scene-by-scene. For all topics, courage is required to tell a story with passion and honesty.

To make it easy to get feedback on their writing,  I encourage people to write every day and share in a private Facebook group. Reading what others write is helpful. It inspires confidence and fosters honesty. It’s not easy to reveal inner thoughts and feelings and seeing someone else do it helps you to take a risk. As author Anne Lamott says, “You own every that happened to you. Tell your stories. if people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” Once you gather courage, you can  write your truth–the story you were meant to tell.

If you want to write a memoir, here is how to get started:

1. Follow Habit #2 from Stephen Covey’s The 7Habits of Highly Effective People.  “Begin with the end in mind.” Begin each project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination. Then, make it happen. My dad used to say, “If you don’t know where you’re going, it doesn’t matter what road you take, any road will get you there.”  Before you begin to write, be clear about your destination, your goal.

2. Set aside a time and place to write every day–even if it’s only five or ten minutes–and write. Writing is a craft and the best way to perfect the craft is to develop a writing habit.

3. Write with reckless abandon and without judgment.  Let the worlds flow without paying attention to grammar, spelling, syntax or the voice of your high school English teacher. Once you have a “shitty” first draft, you have something to work with.

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Jan Fishler is the author of Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (an adoption memoir), Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life, Flex Your Writing Muscle (365 Writing Prompts), and  PTSD: Lessons From Vietnam. She is a motivational speaker who also teaches writing classes online. More about Jan at www.JanFishler.net

 

 

 

Filed Under: Commentary on Writing and Life Tagged With: author, Jan Fishler, janfishler, memoir, writing, writing workshop

The Power of the Subconscious

By Janfishler Leave a Comment

Conscious vs Subconscious

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Tapping into the subconscious

It was the mid-80s (yes, I had big hair) and I was hired as a writer/video producer for a large Bay Area company. My student loans were due and I was thrilled to get a much coveted  job in my field. There was only one problem–the company had a no smoking policy and I had a pack a day habit and believed my creativity depended on it. I had one week to quit. Fortunately, I’d had an internship at a public access TV station and one of the clients was a hypnotherapist. Once a week I videotaped him teaching hypnosis to social workers and psychologists. I witnessed the power of hypnosis in that setting and hoped it might help me so I gave him a call. He was happy to help. A few days later I had my first hypnosis session and my last cigarette.

Why is hypnosis so powerful?

There are a few reasons why hypnosis works. The first is that you are in a relaxed state. The second is that a relaxed state is a receptive state–one that is open to suggestion. This state bypasses the critical, discerning mind and speaks directly to the subconscious mind. The subconscious believes just about anything it’s told.  Add to this a strong desire to change a particular behavior like smoking and you will  manifest your desire. Once I understood the power of the hypnosis and the effect it has on the subconscious, I used it often for relaxation, pain management, anxiety, falling asleep, and getting work done quickly. I used it to come up with creative ideas and to solve problems. I learned self-hypnosis and became invincible. What I discovered is that eventually, the habits I changed using hypnosis no longer required it.

Examples of changes that occurred because of hypnosis

Sleep came as soon as my head hit the pillow. Creative ideas flowed the minute  I sat in my office chair. Procrastination disappeared and I consistently completed projects before the deadline. Limiting thoughts and beliefs vanished. Over time, I discovered there were other ways to tap into the subconscious. Relaxation, visualization, exercise, dreams, positive self-talk, even automatic writing. None of these techniques are difficult to apply–you just have to do it. The more you do it, but better you get at it and the better your results. Regardless of the type of work you do, these techniques will enhance your efforts and make whatever aspect of life you choose easier, faster and more fun.  For me, it’s writing, For my friend Ruth, it’s learning the piano in midlife. For another friend, it’s her art.

If you want to give some of these techniques a try, I’m offering a FREE Zoom course, “Free Yourself to Write.”  It’s the last Wednesday of each month through 2021 from 2-3 p.m. Pacific Time.

You can register HERE. 

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Jan Fishler is the author of Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (an adoption memoir), Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life, Flex Your Writing Muscle (365 Writing Prompts), and  PTSD: Lessons From Vietnam. She is a motivational speaker who also teaches writing classes online. More about Jan at www.JanFishler.net

 

 

Filed Under: Writing Tips delete Tagged With: author, hypnosis, relaxation, subconscious, writing, writing workshop

Writing & the Self-Publishing Life

By Janfishler Leave a Comment

Don't Stop Book

Don’t Stop Now is Available on Amazon

The Writing & Self-Publishing Life

Writing a book is rewarding. I love the time spent alone coming up with the idea, creating an outline, and letting the content flow. During my morning meditation, I enjoy imaging the finished product–the color of the cover, the type face, the back cover copy, who will be reading it, and how they will feel afterwards. What I love most is seeing the finished product.  I also love the idea of being an Indie author, figuring out the self-publishing process and knowing that the fate of my book is entirely in my hands.

Being an independent author is an enormous challenge.

There is so much information available on how to self-publish your book that it’s easy to become overwhelmed and do nothing. How do I know this?  When I self-published my first book, Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (An Adoption Memoir) in 2010., I read everything about self-publishing that I could get my hands on. As a result, I drove myself crazy thinking I had to do it all.

Choose marketing options that suite your personality

What I didn’t realize was the importance of choosing marketing options that suite your personality. For example, if you don’t like public speaking, don’t do it. No, you don’t have to have a presence on all social media or any for that matter.  Blogging isn’t for everyone and neither is becoming an Amazon bestselling author, or running a contest, or starting a podcast.

Going the Indie route also isn’t for everyone. It requires creativity and an entrepreneurial spirit, or the funds to hire professionals who can do it for you.  A word of caution: be sure to carefully research options and find a reputable publishing company (more about that in another post).

Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life 

I’ve spent the past year co-authoring a book, Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life. It’s for women 50+ who want to see how far they’ve come and determine where else they want to go. It’s finished and uploaded to Amazon.  My co-author, Elle Gianforte,  and I decided to independently publish the book. Why?  We have all the skills required to get the word out to our target marketing. And, we’ve  gotten really clear about what we are willing to do to publish the book. And, it’s not all that complicated.

Here’s our plan:

PRIOR TO PUBLICATION:

  1. Create a great website: www.dontstopnow.us  Done!
  2. Create a DontStopNow Facebook page. Done!
  3. Write and post several blogs on topics related to our book. Invite guest bloggers. Done!
  4. Order ISBN number and Bar Code: Done!
  5. Hire a professional book designer: Patty Arnold, Menagerie Design and Publishing. Done!
  6. Hire a professional proof reader (There is no way you can do this yourself): Kit Bailey.Done!
  7. Find a company offering Print On Demand. We worked with Create Space. Done!
  8. Upload book to Amazon. Done!
  9. Revise Author Page. Done!
  10. Go back to book designer and get a Kindle version of the book. Almost done!
  11. Pick a date for a book launch: October 21 — coming soon!

AFTER PUBLICATION

  1. Host a publication launch party — with wine, food, and a discount price on books.
  2. Use Facebook, personal email, and handouts to invite local people to the party.
  3. After the party, send emails to everyone we know with a link to buy the book.
  4. Send follow-up emails to anyone who buys the book asking for a review.
  5. Send a press release to our local newspaper.
  6. Offer to speak at meetings and events where we can sell books.
  7. Promote the book to appropriate podcasters and radio producers.
  8. Contact independent book stores in surrounding areas.
  9. Beginning in January 2019, host a monthly Zoom call on topics covered in the book.
  10. Conduct 3 month, 6 month, and 9 month reviews and adjust our marketing strategy as needed.

Tip:

If you have a book inside you — stop talking about it and  just write it! If you’ve written a book and have the desire to publish it independently, stick with marketing strategies that you’ll enjoy.

 

Jan Fishler, MA, is the co-author of a new book, Don’t Stop Now, Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life (DontStopNow.us). She is also the author of Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (An Adoption Memoir), and has written several articles about alternative health and PTSD. You can learn more about Jan at www.JanFishler.net.

Filed Under: Commentary on Writing and Life Tagged With: author, book marketing, publication, writing, writing a book

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