JanFishler

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Resistance and Fear – Outsmarting the Beast

By Janfishler Leave a Comment

If there is one thing we all need to overcome it’s resistance. I’m NOT talking about ohms– the opposition to current flow in an electrical circuit.  The type of resistance I’m talking about is the one we suffer from when we procrastinate or put off tasks that are essential to our creative or personal growth.  Of course, what we resist persists–unless we do something to change the status quo. There is always a reason for our hesitancy or reluctance.  The challenge is getting to the source of our discomfort to see what we can do to calm the beast that’s preventing us from moving forward. Sometimes, there is a good reason we refuse to change, but most of the time, it comes down to fear of the unknown and false expectations about what we perceive the future holds.

FEAR

No one likes to admit that we’re afraid, but if we look closely at our resistance, fear in any of it’s disguises is usually the source.  Anxiety, angst, dread, panic, self-judgment–what ever you call it, fear is the epicenter of our unwillingness to move forward. Here are some of the unconscious beliefs harbored by the little monster called fear. I’m not good, smart, clever enough. People will make fun of me if…There’s not enough time to…Other people are better at… You get the idea. The truth is, our subconscious programming is alive and well sabotaging our efforts and preventing us from moving forward. How it plays out in life is different for everyone.

For example, it took me years to begin writing my adoption memoir. I was so afraid that my story wasn’t compelling enough, that I wasn’t a good enough writer, that I would never find a publisher.  Then, one day, it occurred to me that I could just write the memoir for myself. I could write my story for my eyes only. Instead of putting undo pressure on myself to live up to a lofty expectation, I could write a little every day and see where it went.  I could take a writing workshop and get feedback on my work. I could fill in gaps in my knowledge by reading books about writing fiction. Eventually, I built up enough confidence to share my writing with other writers and the smartest thing I did was work with an editor. Step-by-step, I overcame resistance and self published my book.

Self publication led to book marketing and new options for resistance opened up. Book in hand, there were new fears and challenges to overcome.  But here’s the thing — knowing that resistance is inevitable makes it manageable because even thought the monster looks different, it’s always the same–fear. What if I couldn’t sell the 3,000 books I ordered? What marketing strategies among thousands would work? Would my book tour be successful?  I was afraid of failing and I was also afraid of success. My book was raw and I felt vulnerable, afraid I’d told too much of the story, afraid I was too honest. I also didn’t have a clue about book marketing and my fear of failure was very real.

THE SOLUTION

I knew I was dealing with the monster of fear who manifested as resistance and procrastination. That monster would always be lurking in the shadows. So, I decided it was time to come up with a strategy for taming the beast once and for all. Turns out, resistance is strongest when there is a lot to gain or lose, but it dissipates and practically disappears when what needs to be done is broken into a tiny task, the smaller the better. So, I started limiting my tasks. Today I will email two adoption agencies and tell them about my book. Or, today I will introduce myself and my book to one local bookstore.  One or two tasks at a time became three or four and eventually I was able to spend half the day on marketing. Eventually, I sold all 3000 books and I kept fear at bay.

That was twelve years ago. Since then I’ve encountered resistance multiple times. It’s always about some sort of fear–real or imagined. In every instance, the solution is the same: break the task down into tiny puzzle pieces and move forward one little piece at a time. The next time the dynamic duo, resistance and fear, turn up for you, take a moment to consider your options. First, ask yourself, What am I resisting? Then, identify the fear. If it’s not justified, move forward.  Finally, take one tiny action.

     #     #     #

Jan Fishler is the author of Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (an adoption memoir), Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life, Flex Your Writing Muscle (365 Writing Prompts), and  PTSD: Lessons From Vietnam. She is a motivational speaker who also teaches writing classes online. More about Jan at www.JanFishler.net.

Filed Under: Commentary on Writing and Life Tagged With: Article Writing, blogging, freelance writing, janfishler, non-fiction, Resistance

Writing Prompt: January 30, 2014

By Janfishler Leave a Comment

Writing Prompt: January 30, 2014

If you could time-travel, where would you go?
What would you do there? How long would you stay?

Speak Your Truth, Write Your Story

Ask me about Writing Workshops: Write Your Story Memoir, Writing as a Pathway to Healing Trauma, Free Yourself to Write, and How to Plan Your Novel. Email me: jan@janfishler.net or call: 530-264-5105

Buy my adoption memoir: Searching for Jane, Finding Myself Kindle edition on Amazon.

Filed Under: Writing Prompts Tagged With: fiction, non-fiction, writing prompts

Writing Prompt: January 29, 2014

By Janfishler Leave a Comment

Writing Prompt: January 29, 2014

What people or situations do you avoid? Why?

 

Speak Your Truth, Write Your Story

Ask me about Writing Workshops: Write Your Story Memoir, Writing as a Pathway to Healing Trauma, Free Yourself to Write, and How to Plan Your Novel. Email me: jan@janfishler.net or call: 530-264-5105

Buy my adoption memoir: Searching for Jane, Finding Myself Kindle edition on Amazon.

 

Filed Under: Writing Prompts Tagged With: fiction, non-fiction, writing prompts

Writing Prompt: January 28, 2014

By Janfishler Leave a Comment

Writing Prompt: January 28, 2014

 

When is the last time you lied? Write about the biggest lie you’ve ever told. Why do you lie?

 

Speak Your Truth, Write Your Story

Ask me about Writing Workshops: Write Your Story Memoir, Writing as a Pathway to Healing Trauma, Free Yourself to Write, and How to Plan Your Novel. Email me: jan@janfishler.net or call: 530-264-5105

Buy my adoption memoir: Searching for Jane, Finding Myself Kindle edition on Amazon.

Filed Under: Writing Prompts Tagged With: fiction, non-fiction, writing promts

Writing Prompt: January 27, 2014

By Janfishler Leave a Comment

Writing Prompt: January 27, 2014

 

Are you and optimist or a pessimist? Why?

 

Speak Your Truth, Write Your Story

Ask me about Writing Workshops: Write Your Story Memoir, Writing as a Pathway to Healing Trauma, Free Yourself to Write, and How to Plan Your Novel. Email me: jan@janfishler.net or call: 530-264-5105

Buy my adoption memoir: Searching for Jane, Finding Myself Kindle edition on Amazon.

 

Filed Under: Writing Prompts Tagged With: fiction, non-fiction, writing prompts

Writing Prompt: January 26, 2014

By Janfishler Leave a Comment

Writing Prompt: January 26, 2014

 Go back to January 1 and review the goals you wrote for the year. Make necessary revisions.

 

Speak Your Truth, Write Your Story

Ask me about Writing Workshops: Write Your Story Memoir, Writing as a Pathway to Healing Trauma, Free Yourself to Write, and How to Plan Your Novel. Email me: jan@janfishler.net or call: 530-264-5105

Buy my adoption memoir: Searching for Jane, Finding Myself Kindle edition on Amazon.

 

Filed Under: Writing Prompts Tagged With: fiction, non-fiction, writing prompts

Writing Prompt: January 24, 2014

By Janfishler Leave a Comment

Writing Prompt: January 24, 2014

 

Celebrate your uniqueness and what makes you special.
Write about your best attribute
.

Speak Your Truth, Write Your Story

Ask me about Writing Workshops: Write Your Story Memoir, Writing as a Pathway to Healing Trauma, Free Yourself to Write, and How to Plan Your Novel. Email me: jan@janfishler.net or call: 530-264-5105

Buy my adoption memoir: Searching for Jane, Finding Myself Kindle edition on Amazon.

 

Filed Under: Writing Prompts Tagged With: fiction, non-fiction, writing prompt

Why I Write

By Janfishler Leave a Comment

Why I Write

Writing is the one thing I do simply because I love it. I can’t help myself. Writing grounds me and helps me find my center, especially when I’m tired, emotionally drained, or preoccupied with the “should and musts” that constantly seem to present themselves. Without writing I would be as wilted as the tomatoes I forgot to water on more than one occasion this summer.

Unlike some writers, who stick with one project until it’s completed, it’s not uncommon for me to tackle several writing projects at once. Take the past few months for example. Since I haven’t been blogging, some people assumed that I haven’t been writing, but nothing could be further from the truth. In the past three months, I’ve revised 100 Tips & Prompts, started writing fiction, have been collaborating on a non-fiction book, developed a new workshop, and have been writing two 500 word blog posts a week for a client. No wonder I forget to water the tomatoes from time to time!

The non-fiction collaboration—Just Plan It!—is a small book designed to help writers plan their fiction. We were hoping to have a release in late September for this year’s National Novel Writing Month—when thousands of people actually commit to writing 60,000 words during November, but the editing is taking longer than expected so publication might have to wait until 2014.

The fiction is on its way to becoming a novel. Set in the 1940s, it’s about three generations of women, some more successful than others, in getting what they want. The main characters are loosely based on my birth mother, her mother, and her grandmother. I say loosely because I know so very little about them, and am having a great time making things up. Because I’m fairly new to fiction writing, I’ve joined a fiction writing group. We meet every other Monday evening and the feedback I’ve been getting has been incredibly helpful.

The workshop, Free Yourself to Write, a collaboration with another writer, is designed to help writers tap into their right brain and make writing—regardless of the content—quick, easy and fun. We’ll offer it locally a few times and then take it on the road. During the half day workshop, writers will learn 10 tools that we have used to avoid writers block and keep the words flowing.

Because I’ve gotten such good feedback on my memoir-writing workshops, when I’m not writing I’ve been marketing them, and soon I’ll be having workshops in various surrounding areas.

Anyway, it’s been a very busy summer and I’m looking forward to a busy fall, one with a lot of rain, so I don’t have to remember to water the tomatoes.

Filed Under: Commentary on Writing and Life Tagged With: fiction, non-fiction, writing, writing workshops

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