JanFishler

Author ~ Happiness Coach

Habits of Successful People

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Habits — the good, the bad and the ugly. The goal is to develop good ones, but that’s not always easy. Obstacles often abound making it difficult to reach your objective. Many times,  the things that trip us up and stop us dead in our tracks are often of our own making. Fear, perfection, ego, avoidance, hopelessness, apathy, comparing yourself to others–the list goes on and on.

Generally, obstacles come from the unconscious programming we received as children and never bothered to rethink and repair. Voices of former teachers who lacked faith in our abilities, critical parents, teasing by older siblings. The little jabs and digs add up until we lose faith in our abilities and in ourselves. Feeling worthless or less than, we let go of dreams and aspirations and settle for good enough. We stop believing that our goals are attainable. Bitching and complaining, we stay in dead-end jobs and remain in unfulfilling relationships. If this goes on long enough, we simply give up. Negative beliefs and bad habits can be reversed.

You can rewire your brain and overcome hurdles.

Fortunately, it’s possible to reprogram the brain to overcome the hurdles that prevent us from achieving our goals. It doesn’t take years of therapy to become a highly successful person. We’ve come a long way since 1987 when Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People was published. The field of neuroscience provides an array of solutions for overcoming habits and behaviors that no longer serve us.  This field includes any or all of the sciences that deal with the structure or function of the nervous system and brain. As a result of research in these fields, rewiring the brain for better results–including optimal health and wellness–has become a popular pursuit.  Books on the topic abound. and so do free audio recordings. Just Google, “reprogram the brain” or “rewire the brain.”  There are also many experts in the rewire field such as Dr. Joe Dispenza and Dr. Bruce Lipton.

Strategies to change your thinking abound.

Clinical Hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique (Tapping), Gratitude daily practice, Inner Child Work, Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), and Psych K , to name a few.

My journey began with hypnosis. It was the mid-80s and out of many candidates, I was selected to be the writer/producer for a large Bay Area corporation. I’d just completed my master’s degree and student loans were coming due. This job was a lifesaver, but here was one problem. The company had a no smoking policy, and I had a pack-a-day habit.  To make matters worse, most of my smoking occurred as a precursor to a writing assignment. Cigarette smoke was my muse. At the time, I had been videotaping hypnosis training workshops where I saw first-hand the power of this therapeutic technique.  I called the psychologist in charge. If anyone could help me, it would be him. Two sessions did the trick. A week later, I was smoke free and I never smoked again.

Trick the subconscious mind to make life better.

That experience launched my mission to discover other ways to trick my subconscious into making my life better. My bag of tricks includes affirmations, breath work, exercise, laughter, relaxation, meditation, music, self-hypnosis and visualization.  A little NLP and gratitude is also part of the mix. For example, whenever I need to write anything I stretch and get into a relaxed state of mind. Then, I picture my ideal outcome and imagine myself writing quickly and with ease.  Before I start typing, I tell my subconscious what I need: you have forty minutes to complete this blog post. If I’m not in a great mood I might do some laughter yoga–yes, it’s a thing or add items to my gratitude journal.

Check out Mel Robbins, The 5 Second Rule.

Most recently I discovered Mel Robbins book, The 5 Second Rule. Robbins says, “The 5-second rule is simple. If you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 seconds or your brain will kill it. …. Hesitation is the kiss of death. You might hesitate for a just nanosecond, but that’s all it takes.” The trick is to count backwards: 5-4-3-2-1 and then act.  This past week I’ve used the rule to not have a second glass of wine, not eat dessert, not binge watch Chicago Med.  I’ve also used the rule to make progress on my seemingly endless to do list.  Thank you, Mel!

It’s unrealistic to think that life will always go as planned, but there’s no reason to let obstacles real and imagined thwart our progress. An abundance of tools are available to help you rewire your brain to become happier, healthier and more productive.

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Jan Fishler is the author of Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (an adoption memoir), Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life, Flex Your Writing Muscle (365 Writing Prompts), and  PTSD: Lessons From Vietnam. She is a motivational speaker who also teaches writing classes online. More about Jan at www.JanFishler.net.

Stay Motivated by Sticking With Your Goals and Focusing Your Attention

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Stay Motivated by Sticking with Your Goals and Focusing Your Attention

There are some mornings when I wake up completely inspired and motivated to write. Maybe I’ve had a dream about something I’ve been mulling around in my head, or I’ve read something that is truly inspirational and it propels me forward, or a writing prompt encourages my efforts. There are other days though, when I’m unclear about my direction, and in spite of having a deadline; I’m at a loss for words. It’s not like I have writers block or am stymied by the dreaded white page—that’s what occurs when you have an idea but just can’t seem to develop the content. What I’m talking about is lack of clarity and purpose, which is what happens when we lose sight of our goals, and consequently forget about the carefully crafted path we’ve developed to achieve them.

Recently, I’ve decided to shift my focus a bit. Instead of continuing to make a book I’ve been collaborating on for almost two years a priority, I’ve turned my attention back to my own work and to that of coaching others who want to write or who need help getting the word out about their services.  I have a novel I’d like to complete, writing workshops I like to teach (and therefore need to promote), and I have a Super Simple Social Media Marketing concept I’m excited to share. There is also the writing I do for clients (articles, blogs, newsletters, even grant writing).  Essentially, my day is filled with writing and promotion—at least it should be.

Because, my nature is taking on too much at once, over the years, I’ve developed a method to help me focus my attention. I’m sharing it here because you might want to come up with something similar. As my grandmother used to say, “Who knows, it might help!” If it does, please let me know.

I begin by making a list of my goals followed by how I’m going to achieve them, and why each is important to me. The how becomes my daily action plan, and the why is what keeps me motivated. It’s a simple list with ongoing activities that primarily revolve around my blog posts. The mere act of making a list like the one below not only sets my intention, but it’s also a tool for focusing my efforts.

  1. Continue building a platform as a writer—blog, post, tweet (This will help find a publisher for Cooking Up a Plan: Turn Your Novel Idea Into a Book)
  2. Promote my writing services—attend writing Meetups, groups and events, write and send marketing emails, write and distribute quarterly MailChimp newsletter (A lot of people are overwhelmed by having to write and I can easily help them)
  3. Promote my books—volunteer to speak about writing, blog, post, tweet (My most recent book, Flex Your Writing Muscle: 365 Writing Prompts is guaranteed to get the creative juices flowing and also help people learn more about themselves)
  4. Promote my Write YOUR Story and Free Yourself to Write workshops—set a date and location, distribute flyers, promote on Facebook and LinkedIn. (We all have important stories to tell and my makes it easy for everyone—even people who don’t usually write)
  5. Promote myself as a writing/marketing/PR coach—attend Meetups, groups and events, write and send marketing emails, write and distribute quarterly MailChimp newsletter. (I always feel better when I’m helping others)

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Jan Fishler is the producer of the Path to Publication DVD series filmed at the Squaw Valley Community of Writers featuring Amy Tan, Janet Fitch, Mark Childress and other well-known authors, agents, and publishers. She is the author of Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (An Adoption Memoir) and Flex Your Writing Muscle – 365 Days of Writing Prompts. She writes articles for VietNow National Magazine and has a bi-monthly column, “Healthy Options” in The Union newspaper.

Motivation is an Inside Job

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Motivation is an Inside Job

Since coming back from vacation, I’ve been struggling with motivation. I’ve been self-employed most of my working life, and staying motivated and getting the job done has always been easy for me. This lack of motivation is new. What worked in the past—creating a master plan, breaking it down into actions, assigning tasks for each day, and just doing it—hasn’t been working. For some reason, it just isn’t happening. I’m hoping that writing about it, can help me figure it out. I’m pretty sure it has to do with my less than stellar marketing efforts.

My business coach has told me numerous times that motivation is an inside job. So, I’ve been looking inside and out to see if I can discover what it is that is thwarting my progress. I went back and reviewed my master plan. My plan was and still is to develop and disseminate workshops that will show people how to write their story (memoir) five minutes at a time. And, I’m doing that. In fact I have a workshop this weekend and another the following weekend. I understand how to reach my local market, but unfortunately, the beautiful place where I live doesn’t have a large enough population to sustain my business.

When I developed the master plan, I initially and erroneously thought I would contact friends around the country and have them “host” a workshop in their living rooms. I’d provide the marketing collateral, send a press release to the local newspaper, and they would hang flyers. However, my attempts to do this in Atlanta, Denver, and Arizona—places where very good friends of mine live—failed. My friends aren’t marketing or sales people and what I was proposing was daunting to them. Realizing this approach wasn’t going to work, occurred shortly before we left on vacation.

Now, I’m on to Plan B—extending my reach to new markets. Instead of following the steps that have worked in the past—break it down into actions, assign tasks for each day, and just do it—I’ve been doing everything else. My house is clean, my laundry is done, and I’ve cooked ahead for the week. I’ve called friends I haven’t talked to in years, met others for tea or lunch, have finished reading several books and I’m in the middle of a few new ones. In other words the marketing I have to do has stopped me dead in my tracks.

So, why is this happening?  Realizing I won’t be teaching my workshop in living rooms across America is part of it, but when I look inside, it seems like it also has to do with some deeply rooted irrational fear of failure coupled with the delusion that “if you build it they will come.” Before people can come, they need to know “it” exists!  In spite of all the work I’ve done to heal and integrate my issues, my wounded inner child, who is driven by fear, is still trying to sabotage my efforts.

In writing this, I’m giving her the attention she craves, feeling her pain, and having compassion for her plight. Writing about this helps me understand what has been going on, and I’m already feeling the fog begin to lift, and my old motivated self re-enter the scene. Once again, my business coach is right—motivation is an inside job.