Jan Fishler

Author and Happiness Coach

Janfishler

Two Antidotes to Unhappiness: Self-Reflection and Realistic Thinking

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Self-Reflection and Realistic Thinking are two antidotes to unhappiness.

There are many reasons why you aren’t happy. Unrealistic expectations and seeking happiness outside of yourself are two significant ones.  If you’re honest, you know you’re guilty of one or the other, or both.

Unrealistic expectations are beliefs or assumptions about how things should be, rather than how they are, often leading to disappointment and frustration. Examples include expecting everyone to like you, believing life should be fair, or assuming your partner will change to fit your needs perfectly. Not only can these expectations negatively impact your mental health and your relationships,  but they can also cause you to be unhappy. It follows that looking for happiness outside of yourself is just as unproductive. If you need material possessions or the approval of others to feel good about yourself, your happiness is at stake. Of course, there are times when a new outfit or an ‘atta boy’ or ‘atta girl’ from the boss boosts your mood. If you spend most of your time shopping or seeking praise, you’re going to find happiness to be elusive.

Where does happiness come from?

True happiness comes from within. It’s knowing that you can make yourself happy, regardless of what’s going on around you — even when the drama or chaos of others surrounds you. It’s the knowledge that you don’t have to get involved. Instead, you can always be empathetic while maintaining clear boundaries. If necessary, you can even avoid people who drain your energy, cause you stress, or make you feel uncomfortable. It’s choosing to be around people not because you need them, but because you enjoy their company. Why? Because they encourage you to be your best self and brighten your day. Most of all, it’s valuing your time and using it in ways that help you evolve and grow.

Why is Happiness Important? If you’ve read my other blogs, you already know the answer, but if not, research confirms that happiness is important because it positively impacts nearly every area of your life. This includes your physical and mental well-being, your relationships, and your productivity. Being happy also strengthens your immune system, improves heart health, increases longevity, and reduces stress. Additionally, happiness fosters resilience, making it easier to cope with challenges and setbacks.  If you’re not satisfied, you may want to take action.


What can you do to develop better habits?

If you’re guilty of setting unrealistic expectations or seeking happiness outside of yourself, what can you do to change these patterns and develop better habits?  Breaking free from unrealistic expectations of yourself or others requires self-reflection and a willingness to embrace realistic thinking. Meditation and Journaling are the tools I use to uncover my inner thoughts. I tend to expect a lot from myself, so setting aside time each morning for reflection and writing helps me clarify my goals for the day. 
For example, each night before bed, I write a to-do list for the following day. In the morning, after meditating, I’m able to be more realistic about what I can actually accomplish. Journaling helps me focus on the details and develop an effective action plan.  The journaling technique I use is straightforward. With pencil and paper or on a laptop, I write a question and then write or type the answer without giving thought to sentence structure. This method lets me tap into my subconscious and take advantage of my inner wisdom. I’m often surprised by what I know! 
Keep in mind that change takes practice. Becoming a happier person will take time, so during your journey be sure to practice self-compassion,  focus on personal growth rather than perfection, and celebrate progress along the way. 
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Jan Fishler is a certified happiness coach and author. Her most recent books are Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life and 52 Ways to Be Happy: from the inside out. You can learn more at www.JanFishler.net.

 

Breathe

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One of the simplest ways to calm your nervous system so that you feel better and consequently feel happier is to breathe. Whenever you’re afraid, stressed out, or anxious, you can use your breath to trick your brain into thinking that everything is okay.

Holding your breath because you’re being chased by a tiger or being held at gunpoint and fearing for your life are scenarios that will ultimately resolve themselves. You’ll either escape or die—hopefully, the former. Assuming you live to tell the tale, your breathing should return to normal.

What happens when you hold your breath or breathe shallowly because stress and anxiety are a routine part of your day? The negative consequences of shallow breathing have been well documented. Shallow breathing can:

  • Reduce oxygen intake. As a result, your brain and body might not get enough oxygen. This can cause fatigue, dizziness, and foggy thinking.
  • Result in impaired immune function because the lymphatic system is only stimulated by deep breathing.
  • Disrupt sleep patterns.
  • Cause carbon dioxide to build up in your blood and cause conditions that affect your lungs, brain, nerves, and muscles.
  • Effect memory and emotional judgment.

While your environment can be filled with stressors that are out of your control (think noise and air pollution, record-breaking temperatures and weather patterns, and the unpredictability of daily living), you can control your breath.

There are lots of breathing techniques that can help you overcome life’s stressors. It’s important to practice a few of these when you’re not anxious or stressed out so that they become a healthy habit you can employ when times are tough. Some popular breathing techniques are:

Box breathing: Breathe in slowly to a count of four. Hold your breath for another count of four at four, gently and without strain. Then, slowly exhale to a count of four. Hold for four. Then, repeat, starting with the inhale. Repeat this for a few minutes.

Extend the exhale: Breathe in for a count of four. Hold for four. Exhale to a count of eight—or twice whatever your inhale count was.

Belly breathing: Lay on your back and place your hands gently on your stomach. Take a slow, deep inhale, and imagine your breath filling your upper chest, lower chest, and eventually, your belly, feeling your belly rise as you inhale. Then, slowly exhale and feel the air first leave your belly, lower chest, and upper chest.

Sun salutation breathing: Stand straight with your feet slightly apart at about hip-width and your hands by your sides. Begin to inhale, and as you do, raise your arms as you take air into your body. When you reach the max of your inhale, your hands should now be above your head. Now, as you exhale, slowly lower your arms with your breath. You may return them to your sides or bring them in front of your chest into a prayer hands pose.

If you want to learn more about breathing techniques—especially those that increase your energy, induce relaxation, or expand your state of mind, you’ll want to read about Holotropic breathwork, soma breath, and Wim Hoff Breathing.

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Jan Fishler is a certified happiness coach and author. Her most recent books are Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life and 52 Ways to Be Happy: from the inside out. You can learn more at www.JanFishler.net.

Mindfulness & Meditation: What’s the Difference

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Meditation or Mindfulness? The difference between meditation and mindfulness is something many people confuse. It’s important to clarify the difference because both are beneficial for many of the same reasons. While the two practices are closely related, they are not the same, although many people do both for mental health, stress reduction, and personal growth.

What is Meditation?

Meditation is a practice that involves focusing the mind, often to achieve a deep state of relaxation, awareness, or insight. There are many different types of meditation. Some more popular are focused attention, loving-kindness, and transcendental meditation. There’s also walking meditation, Vipassana, and yoga. You can also repeat mantras or relax and follow guided instructions. One of the simplest forms of meditation is mindfulness meditation. To practice, find a quiet place, sit comfortably, and focus on your breath or a specific sensation in your body. When your mind wanders, gently bring it back to your point of focus without judgment.

No matter what type of meditation you practice, meditation requires setting aside a specific time to practice, either sitting or lying down in a quiet space. If you’re new to meditation, choose a technique and try it for five to ten minutes. If you don’t like the thought of meditating alone, consider joining a group online or in your area. One option to consider is Mindful Leader. This online community offers drop-in meditation 24 hours/5 days a week.

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is the quality of being present and fully engaged in the current moment with an open, non-judgmental attitude. The advantage of mindfulness is that it can be cultivated in daily life—whether you’re eating, walking, or doing household chores—without needing a formal meditation session.

Mindful awareness can be integrated into any moment by simply bringing your full attention to what’s happening right now without judgment or distraction. Here are a few ways you can practice mindfulness in daily life:

  1. Focus on your breath: At any moment, whether you’re waiting in line or walking, pay attention to your breath, noticing the sensations of inhaling and exhaling. This can help ground you in the present.
  2. Notice your surroundings: Engage your senses. What do you see, hear, smell, or feel? Bringing awareness to your environment can shift your focus away from distractions and center you in the present moment.
  3. Body scan: Throughout the day, pause to check in with your body. Are there areas of tension? How does your body feel at this moment? Just observing without trying to change anything can help you stay present.
  4. Non-judgmental awareness: When you find yourself evaluating your experiences, try shifting to a more neutral stance. Instead of judging your thoughts or emotions, observe them as they arise and understand that they are temporary.
  5. Mindful movement: Whether walking, stretching, or doing an activity like washing dishes, try to engage fully in the task. Feel the movements in your body and the sensations involved, and stay present with the activity at hand.
  6. Mindful listening: When interacting with others, really listen. Pay attention to the words, the tone, the pauses, and even the body language. Being fully present in conversations allows for deeper connections and more clarity.

Mindfulness is all about intentionally bringing your focus to the present and reducing distractions, even for a few seconds. Over time, these small moments of mindful awareness can build up and integrate into your daily routine.

Differences and Similarities

There are three main differences between meditation and mindfulness.

  • Meditation is a structured, formal practice, while mindfulness is more of an ongoing state of awareness that can be practiced throughout the day.
  • Meditation usually has a specific goal (e.g., deepening awareness, relaxation, or insight), whereas mindfulness is about maintaining continuous, open attention to the present moment without any particular objective.
  • Meditation often requires a dedicated time commitment (e.g., 10-30 minutes), while mindfulness can be practiced in short bursts throughout the day, even while engaging in everyday tasks.

The two practices also complement one another. Meditation can serve as a training ground for mindfulness by helping individuals develop greater self-awareness and focus. The skills learned in meditation, such as focusing on the breath, can support mindfulness practices in daily life. Most importantly, both practices contribute to mental well-being. Many people practice meditation and mindfulness daily to increase peace of mind, clarity, and focus.

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Jan Fishler is a certified happiness coach and author. Her most recent books are Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life and 52 Ways to Be Happy: from the inside out. You can learn more at www.JanFishler.net.

 

Routines Contribute to Happiness

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Routines, schedules, and habits go a long way toward creating happiness. Most people enjoy having a plan and knowing how the day will unfold. While surprise adds spice to life, predictability grounds us and provides a feeling of security. Regardless of who you are or what you do, it’s likely that feeling safe and secure is essential to your mental and physical well-being. But what happens when your life gets out of control? What can you do to regain composure in a chaotic world?

Creating routines is one of the easiest ways to manage a disorderly life. A consistent beginning and ending to your day can make a huge difference in how you feel. Your schedule might be different than that of your friends or family members, but creating activities that create order can eliminate stress and create peace of mind.

Create a Morning Routine

Creating a morning routine is a great place to start. Typical morning routines could include getting up at the same time every morning, making your bed, having a cup of coffee and some breakfast, time spent in the bathroom, getting dressed, packing your lunch or lunches for kids, making a to-do list for the day, checking and responding to emails, meditating, and journaling.

Generating a list of morning activities is the first step. The next step is putting them in order. What you can accomplish during your morning routine will depend on when you get up and how much time you have before you start work or take your kids to school. Of course, if you work from home or are retired, you’ll have more flexibility than if you adhere to a schedule. To ensure your routine is sustainable, try it out for a few days and see how you feel. Knowing how your morning will unfold usually results in a more relaxed atmosphere for everyone in the household.

Once you establish a flow that works, you might want to add start times. If you do this, to avoid adding stress to your schedule, be sure to add some wiggle room. For example, if your kids need to be at school by 8:00 AM, you might need to get up by 6:00 to avoid unnecessary rushing around. A little trial and error might be required before you land on the ideal morning ritual.

Create an Evening Routine

An evening routine can also help you relax after a busy day and prepare for a good night’s sleep. Elements of an evening ritual include a regular bedtime, a warm bath, listening to music or reading a book, and deep breathing or meditation. Turning off electronics is also recommended. According to healthhub.hif.com, many people benefit from following The 10-3-2-1-0 Sleep Rule:

  • 0 hours before bed: No more caffeine.
  • 3 hours before bed: No more food or alcohol.
  • 2 hours before bed: No more work.
  • 1 hour before bed: No more screen time (shut off all phones, TVs and computers).
  • 0: The number of times you hit snooze in the morning.

Doing the same thing every night before bed lets your brain know you’re ready for a good night’s sleep. According to the American Psychological Association, eight or more hours of sleep each night sleep is the main ingredient for feeling happier, healthier, and safer.

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Jan Fishler is a certified happiness coach and author. Her most recent books are Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life and 52 Ways to Be Happy: from the inside out. You can learn more at www.JanFishler.net.

No one is Happy All the Time

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No one is happy all the time. Regardless of who you are or what you do, there will be times when your peace of mind gets disrupted. You forget to put money in the meter and get a parking ticket. Your partner says something that upsets you. You don’t get the raise you were hoping for. The list goes on and on. We are all human, and unhappiness and its synonyms are part of the experience. Think about it. If you weren’t sad or upset now and then, how would you appreciate feeling good?

How Most People Feel

When asked to rate their happiness on a scale of 1-10, most people say they’re at 7. This doesn’t necessarily mean you’re leading a charmed life, but it does mean you’re feeling pretty good most of the time. It means you have friends, activities you enjoy, a job you at least find interesting, and enough money to provide yourself with food, clothing, and shelter. Occasionally, there might be a glitch or two, but nothing you can’t handle. As a seven, there are even days that exceed your expectations. You get a raise, that person at work you’ve been fantasizing about asks you out, or your youngest child—the late bloomer—gets an A on a spelling test. That’s life as a 7.

Having Suicidal Thoughts?

If you’re feeling down more than you’re feeling up, it’s time to act. If you’re seriously depressed and have suicidal thoughts, call 988—the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline hotline. People there can help. If you’re too depressed to pick up the phone, express your feelings to a trusted friend in a text or email. Write something like, I’m feeling alone and suicidal. Could you please call me? Or are you free to talk? I’m in a bad place now and need a friend. Suicidal thoughts are nothing to ignore. There is no shame ever in asking for help when you need it.

Getting Out of a Funk

What if you’ve been in a funk for a few days and want to feel better? Maybe you’re stuck in a rut after a bad breakup, or the new job isn’t what you thought it would be; how do you get your groove back? It’s easy to think you’ll never be happy again, but you will. According to The Happiness Set Point Theory, 50% or more of your happiness is determined by genetics. Your mindset and activities decide 40%, and 10% depends on external life circumstances. This means that when you’re feeling sad or depressed, you can improve your mood by choosing activities that make you feel better. Exercise, meditation, expressing gratitude, and spending time with friends or family can improve your outlook.

The Setpoint Theory

The setpoint theory explains why some people with similar backgrounds and experiences appear happier than others or why celebrities who seem to have it all are so unhappy. No matter where you fall on the happiness continuum, it’s good to know that your baseline is a point you’ll eventually return to. Research also shows that setpoints are pliable and respond to activities that add value and meaning to your life. For example, personal growth, lifelong learning, mindfulness, and acts of kindness have been shown to elevate setpoints and raise happiness levels.

Remember, if you want to be happier, there are things you can do to raise your happiness setpoint. If you’re so unhappy that you feel like life isn’t worth living, please get help. Call 988.

 

Jan Fishler is a certified happiness coach and author. Her most recent books are Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life and 52 Ways to Be Happy: from the inside out. You can learn more at www.JanFishler.net.

What is Happiness?

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What is Happiness?

I want to take a moment to dispel some myths about happiness. Contrary to popular opinion, happiness is not about being deliriously cheerful, having a lot of stuff, or being the center of attention. Happiness has very little to do with what’s happening around you or to you and everything to do with how you feel about yourself and others. Happiness is an inside job; the sooner you realize this, the more likely you are to become happy or at least a happier person. Just so we understand what I’m talking about, synonyms for the word happiness abound. The Merriam-Webster Thesaurus lists a boatload of them, including joy, enjoyment, pleasure, satisfaction, comfort, glee, contentedness, cheer, exhilaration, and intoxication–and no, I’m not talking about getting drunk! If you don’t resonate with the word happiness, pick one that makes sense.

You Deserve to Be Happy

Regardless of the word, happiness requires being honest with your feelings and doing whatever you can to make your life as good as possible. Depending on your circumstances, this can be difficult, but it is not unattainable. Yes, no matter what has happened to you in the past, you deserve to have a healthy and joyful life filled with peace and love. Believe it.

If you don’t choose happiness, your other option is unhappiness, and its antonyms are sadness, depression, grief, anguish, and distress. Of course, there are times when, regardless of good intentions, life gets in the way of your peace of mind, but what’s important is how you respond. No matter what the circumstances, you have a choice. You can be reactive, or you can be calm and centered.

Happiness is an Inside Job

This is why I say that happiness is an inside job. So much of life depends on how you cope with the cards you’re dealt. Buying a new car, moving, or divorcing are always options, but wouldn’t it be easier to take responsibility for the circumstances that upset you rather than look outside of yourself for solutions? The truth is, most of the time, you create the drama that causes your unhappiness. Think about it. To live your best life, the goal is to get to a place that’s sustainable. Control your emotions. Be more adaptable and balanced. Communicate better so that you are comfortable asking for what you want rather than demanding or expecting the people in your life to read your mind and do the right thing. Be generous, kind, and good-natured. Behaviors like these are the stepping stones to living a happy life.

If you are the person you expect others to be, you are well on your way to being happy no matter what is going on around you. As a gauge, on a scale of 1-10, with one being sad and depressed and 10 being over the moon, on most days, where do you fall? Is this where you want to be, or could you do better? If you want to feel better, where do you start?

Four Ways to Improve Your Life

No matter who you are, there are four things you can do to improve your life.

• Meditate or practice mindfulness. According to the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, “Meditation and mindfulness practices may have a variety of health benefits and may help people improve the quality of their lives. Recent studies have investigated if meditation or mindfulness helps people manage anxiety, stress, depression, pain, or symptoms related to withdrawal from nicotine, alcohol, or opioids.” It does.
• Exercise. The National Library of Medicine states, “Exercise improves mental health by reducing anxiety, depression, and negative mood and by improving self-esteem and cognitive function.” At the very least, get off the couch and move your body. Take a walk, stretch, or do some yoga. No, you don’t have to join the gym or buy special workout clothes or shoes, although if your floors are hard, you might want to invest in an exercise mat.
• Eat healthy food. Your mom was right. Eat your fruits and vegetables. Throw in some nuts, seeds, beans, and whole grains. Limit sugar and alcohol. Choose fewer processed foods. Limit red meat and fat. Drink water. If you can’t figure it out on your own, see your friendly neighborhood dietitian.
• Think happy thoughts. Your thoughts really do matter. Negative self-talk or negative thinking can not only make you unhappy, but it can also make you sick. It’s a fact that chronic anxiety, depression, and stress can lead to heart disease, high blood pressure, and a weak immune system. To stop intrusive thoughts, wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it as soon as a negative thought pops up.
You can be happier and it doesn’t cost a dime.

Jan Fishler is a certified happiness coach and author. Her most recent books are Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life and 52 Ways to Be Happy: from the inside out. You can learn more at www.JanFishler.net.

Happiness is an Inside Job

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Happiness is an Inside Job

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “I’ll be happy when…” I’ll be happy when I get a better job, lose 10 pounds, get married, get divorced, or have enough money to retire? The problem with this approach is that you’re looking at happiness as something to be attained.  You’re letting your happiness depends on something or someone outside of yourself rather than on what you already have inside.

A better option is to cultivate happiness from with. Appreciating what you already have is a great way to increase your happiness and resist the temptation of reaching for an impossible dream. This doesn’t mean you can’t want a better job, marriage, or a new wardrobe. It just means how you feel doesn’t depend on having those items.

Appreciate What You Have

Regardless of your current perspective, acknowledging and valuing what you already possess can significantly amplify your happiness. If you’re doubtful, take a moment for introspection. Begin from the start, from your earliest memories, and note down all your accomplishments. Recall the instances when you’ve helped others or conquered against all odds. This exercise in gratitude and self-reflection is a potent tool in your quest for happiness, empowering you to recognize your own strength and resilience.

Life isn’t about getting; it’s about enjoying the ride and going with the ebbs and flows. Of course, you’re not going to be happy all the time. No one is. It’s about being in the moment and noticing what’s happening around you. Is there something you can do to help a neighbor? Are your kids struggling with math or being bullied? Is your partner worried about something and not talking? Are you so caught up in your thoughts and feelings that you aren’t noticing others?

The Role of Fear, Sadness, and Grief

Fear, sadness, and grief are inevitable emotions that serve as wake-up calls. Hearing about someone else’s loss is an opportunity to be grateful for what you have. A friend told me that her daughter’s house burned down. The family—including the dogs—were safe. But they lost everything. Imagine what that would be like if it happened to you. Then, appreciate how much you have and be grateful for your well-being. It turns out that the community stepped in to help by providing long-term housing and donations. These challenges, when overcome, can make you more resilient and appreciative of life’s blessings.

If you seek joy and contentment, the key is to find happiness and joy within. When life presents challenges, view them as opportunities for growth. For instance, getting laid off might be an opportunity to return to school and learn a new trade. A divorce or breakup can be a chance to do some much-needed soul-searching. A health crisis can be a wake-up call to eat better and start exercising. Remember that life is a journey. It’s important to appreciate the voyage, the ups and downs, the twists and turns, whether you reach your destination or not. This perspective will bring you patience and contentment.

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Jan Fishler is a certified happiness coach and author. Her most recent books are Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life and 52 Ways to Be Happy: from the inside out. You can learn more at www.JanFishler.net.

Two Ways of Looking at Happiness

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Two Ways of Looking at Happiness

Psychologically, there are two ways of looking at happiness. One is Hedonic. The other is Eudaimonic. The first option is the easiest. It’s a quick fix and a temporary solution. Think of a glass of wine with friends, splurging on a new outfit, or buying something you don’t need for your house. Hedonic happiness is short-term and fleeting. This can be unsatisfying and cause you to look for your next boost of pleasure to distract you from uncomfortable feelings.

Hedonic Pleasure

Hedonic pleasure has its place. It can help brighten your day and help you get through a bad one. Examples include getting a bonus at work, watching a movie you love, getting a massage, eating fabulous dessert, going to the hair salon, buying those boots you’ve been eyeing for weeks, or having great sex. There’s nothing wrong with this behavior if it’s not causing reckless spending or behavior, such as buying things you can’t afford or engaging in risky activities if you realize this type of happiness doesn’t last.

Eudaimonic Happiness

Eudaimonic happiness is a journey of growth and self-discovery that leads to long-term and lasting satisfaction. It’s about building your best life by setting goals, overcoming roadblocks, and realizing your potential as a human being. This process, while not always easy, is deeply rewarding. It involves identifying your beliefs and core values, understanding your strengths and weaknesses, and recognizing the connection between your thoughts, actions, and outcomes.

The journey to eudaimonic happiness may not always be comfortable, but the sense of achievement and fulfillment it brings is unparalleled. For instance, if you’re striving to lose weight, you might need to forgo immediate pleasures like dessert in favor of your long-term goal. Similarly, the joy of reaching a specific goal or mastering a skill, such as becoming fluent in a new language after months or years of practice, is a testament to the power of eudaimonic happiness.

Journal Exercise

If you are new to these concepts, you might want to journal about the topic. Make two columns. Label one hedonic and the other eudaimonic. Under the hedonic column, list behaviors you typically do when feeling sad, angry, or depressed. Be honest with yourself. Underline any of those behaviors that are risky, dangerous, or unsustainable. For example, if your job is stressful and you’re soothing yourself by drinking too much after work, underline that behavior. Once you’ve completed your list, move to the eudaimonic column and consider your long-term goals and how you want your life to be.

Do you want to raise a family or earn a degree? Do you want more meaningful work, to help others, volunteer, speak another language, or master a particular skill? Now, compare the two columns and circle any behaviors in the hedonic column that won’t help you attain your eudaimonic goals. Can you let these behaviors go, or could you benefit from some help? There’s no reason to struggle to get where you want to be. A happiness coach can help.

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Jan Fishler is a certified happiness coach and author. Her most recent books are Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life and 52 Ways to Be Happy: from the inside out. You can learn more at www.JanFishler.net.

Why You Need a Happiness Coach

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Why You Need a Happiness Coach

A Happiness Coach can make a big difference in your life. Sometimes, life can be complicated, confusing, and full of unnecessary stress. When that happens, it’s easy to get caught up in the chaos and commotion. Before you know it, you’re not your usual happy self. You’re gaining weight, drinking more than you should, not exercising, arguing with your partner, or avoiding friends. The list goes on and on. Before you know it, you’re angry and depressed and in a funk. You know you need to do something, but what?

If you often struggle with mental health issues, therapy might be your best option, but if the situation is temporary, a happiness coach can help guide you out of the chaos that’s infiltrated your life and move you toward a more balanced and healthier lifestyle. You can also have fun during the process.

Why Work With a Coach

A happiness coach can do many things, but most people work with a coach because they are going through a significant life transition. For example, you might be ending a career, looking for a new one, or wanting to start a new business. Maybe you’ve ended a long-term relationship and are wondering how to meet new people. Moving to a new location and figuring out how to settle in can also require the assistance of a coach. Perhaps a close friend or family member or even you are having scary medical issues. Empty-nesters and retirees can also benefit from happiness coaching, just as new moms can.

How a Happiness Coach Can Help

Regardless of what’s going on in your life, a happiness coach can empower you to live a happier life on your terms and increase your sense of well-being. This means a coach might help you eliminate habits that aren’t working for you, improve those that will, and help you develop your full potential. Appreciating little things, feeling more peaceful, letting go of painful memories, and experiencing joy more fully are some ways a happiness coach can help you get more out of life.

A happiness coach will also help you define happiness because it’s different for everyone. Figuring out what happiness means for you and creating a roadmap to get there is a big part of coaching. For some people, it takes one or two sessions, but others need more time. If you think you might benefit from happiness coaching, schedule a free introductory phone call with a coach to see if you’re a match. It’s crucial to find a coach that you like and trust so that your time together is productive and enjoyable.

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Jan Fishler is a certified happiness coach and author. Her most recent books are Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life and 52 Ways to Be Happy: from the inside out. You can learn more at www.JanFishler.net.

Happiness Coach–one-on-one or group?

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Which is better—working one-on-one with a happiness coach or participating in a group?

The correct answer is both are good. If you’re new to coaching and not clear about your goals, one-on-one coaching allows the coach to get to know you. Once that happens, a happiness coach can create a customized plan just for you. Your one-on-one time with your coach  helps them understand your needs, attitudes, and behaviors. This fosters a deep sense of trust and understanding–a necessary ingredient for success.

Individuals who work full-time, travel frequently, or have children at home often benefit from the flexibility provided by a one-on-one happiness coach.  This type of coaching also works best when someone is uncomfortable sharing because they feel their issue is too personal or shameful. Suppose you are struggling with addiction, abuse, a difficult marriage, or something similar. In that case, you might want to begin with one-on-one coaching and shift to a group after your primary concerns have been addressed.

Who Benefits From Group Coaching

For many, group coaching is the preferred option. The group setting often fosters a supportive environment where members hold each other accountable and provide mutual support. This collective support is a powerful motivator, creating an atmosphere of joy and appreciation that can lead to remarkable results. As group members become more comfortable with each other, the exchange of information and learning from each other’s experiences can lead to unexpected breakthroughs.

In one of my recent groups, Julie shared her concern about a woman who was smoking cigarettes in front of Julie’s bedroom window at the condo where they both lived. The smoke was wafting into Julie’s apartment and making her life miserable. Intimidated by the smoker, the only solution Julie came up with was keeping her windows closed. Upon hearing Julie’s story, the group began offering solutions. Julie took notes and found a solution. Management posted a no-smoking sign in the area outside of Julie’s window. And,  the smoker found a new location to partake in her habit. Solutions like this one are a common phenomenon in a group setting.

Topics a Happiness Coach Might Cover

Whether you work one-on-one or in a group, some topics a happiness coach will offer depend on the coach’s focus. A workplace might focus on communication, active listening, conflict resolution, resilience, problem-solving, time management, and increasing positivity. A coach mentoring adults might cover limiting beliefs, mindfulness, motivation, relationships, stress management, and overcoming challenges. A coach for youth might explore peer relationships and boosting self-esteem. Career development, drugs and alcohol, dating and sex and academic success might also be discussed.

If you’ve been struggling with issues at home or work, working with a happiness coach can provide relief and options you might not come up with alone. The best way to get started is with a free introductory phone call. Before you hire a coach, be sure you choose one who  will work with you at a price you can afford.

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Jan Fishler is a certified happiness coach and author. Her most recent books are Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life and 52 Ways to Be Happy: from the inside out. You can learn more at www.JanFishler.net.