JanFishler

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Changing Habits with Insight Timer

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Changing Habits with Insight Timer

I have a confession to make. I’m a binge-watcher of Netflix. Well, until recently, I was a binge-watcher. Now, I guess you’d say I’m in recovery.

It started the summer I was supposed to be writing a book but instead was secretly binge-watching the entire series of Lost. From there I moved on to Shameless, Queer Eye, Outlander, The Girlfriends Guide to Divorce, and others I can’t think of right now. While I would joke about binge-watching with my girlfriends (I need to go to NA—Netflix Anonymous), none of them really knew the extent of my addiction.

Here’s how it would go…

I’d get up early, get my work done as quickly as possible, have an early dinner and settle into the couch for a good three hours (sometimes more) of the series du jour. I’ll admit it: I was ashamed of my behavior, but like any addict, I couldn’t stop.  I rationalized. What else was I going to do in the evening? (read, go out with friends) It’s not like I’m gambling away the family fortune or buying hundreds of pairs of shoes. (true) Was my Netflix addiction really getting in the way of my life? (sort of). Was I willing to change? (maybe) Where could I get help? (I had no idea).

One day I decided to quit cold turkey. Instead of turning on Netflix, I picked up Becoming Michele Obama’s book and spent the evening on the couch reading, getting to know about this remarkable woman’s life. Since it was the weekend, I continued reading until I finished the book. I’ll give Michele Obama partial credit for my recovery.

I know you’re thinking…Oh, she just replaced binge-watching with binge-reading. Yes and no. I do read much more now—nonfiction mostly because I’m really into learning new things and making up for the time I lost on the couch.

But the real credit goes to my friend Jane who introduced me to Insight Timer, a meditation app, which I’ve grown to love. The app has been a life-changer—mostly because of the courses you can take (more on that in a bit).

Let me back up…

For the record, I’ve been meditating off and on ever since I read Autobiography of a Yogi in the late 80s and began following the methods taught by Self Realization Fellowship. The lessons would arrive weekly and I was a faithful devote except for the times life got in the way (kids, project deadlines, Netflix…).  As recently as 2015 I attended a Vipassana 10-day silent meditation retreat. But then I fell off the wagon and Netflix filled my schedule.

Insight Timer has been a lifesaver. As the app implies, you can just set a timer for a specific duration, but you can also take 10 and 30 day courses from a variety of teachers on a myriad of topics related to becoming a more evolved human. And given the state of the world, this type of insight is not simply helpful, it’s necessary—especially if you’re a news junkie!

Jane got me started with a guided meditation she had been listening to, but I quickly discovered a course and a talk that provided insight and clarity on my binging. Hugh Byrne’s 10-day course, How to Change Unwanted Habits, explained, “how mindfulness is a key to habit change because it brings into awareness behaviors and thought patterns that have become unconscious and automatic.” And a 52-minute talk by Tara Brach, Healing Addiction: De-Conditioning the Hungry Ghosts, “examines the suffering that arises when due to unmet needs for love ad safety, our desire becomes narrowed and fixated on substitute gratifications.” Okay, I get it!

Insight Timer helps me sleep

The app also has an entire section devoted to helping people sleep. Last night I tried the 34-minute Peaceful Sleep Meditation. It must have been great because I fell asleep about 5 minutes into it and didn’t wake up until morning.

In addition to using the app at night to help me sleep, I also spend about 30 minutes in the morning listening to a daily course. I just finished, Manifest Your Ultimate Goals & Dreams by Kenneth Soares which “guides you on a journey to take control of your life and destiny” in 14 minutes a day. I just began “Knowing Your Soul’s True Purpose” by Kim Newing who has a fabulous Australian accent. Although I’m pretty sure I know what I’m on earth to do, why not gain additional insight?

It’s been  40 days (yes, it keeps track) since I began using the app and here’s what’s changed:

I’m sleeping through the night (a miracle at best). Not once have I been  tempted to check out Netflix. I’m reading more, and best of all I’m doing more things that I love: writing every day, going out to the movies (once or twice a week), getting together with family and friends, and I’m meditating again.  Every. Day!

 

Jan Fishler is an author, motivational speaker and writing coach. You can learn more about her at janfishler.net and dontstopnow.us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Writing Tips delete Tagged With: addiction, app, binge-watching, insighttimer

Weeding the Garden, Cleaning My Office, and Finding Inspiration from Marie Kondo

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Weeding the Garden, Cleaning My Office, and Finding Inspiration from Marie Kondo

Let me begin by saying that I’m not a gardener. That job belongs to my husband who spends as much time as possible in the yard. But gardens and weeds are a great metaphor for the junk we all collect. I know, it’s never anyone’s intention to end up with a drawer or basket full of useless stuff. It just happens over time. For example, here’s what’s in the drawer that’s closest to my computer desk: Pens, pencils, crayons, paperclips, power cords, thumb drives, sticky notes, pennies, nickels, dimes, gum, gum wrappers, hard candy, hard candy wrappers, old check books and check registers, glitter, double-sided sticky tape, extra headsets, stamps, CDs, and product warranties. I even found a dried-up bottle of white out!

Why am I bringing this up?

This past summer, inspired by Marie Kondo, I decided to go through every cabinet and closet in my house and weed out the non-essentials—everything that doesn’t “spark joy” or have a use. Fortunately, my house isn’t that big and I’m not much of a collector, but the process has been enlightening because it’s brought up interesting and unexpected feelings.

My mother, who was a child during the depression, saved everything. We even reused paper napkins! After she died, I tossed out hundreds of plastic cottage cheese containers, forks, knives, and spoons and an equal number of those aluminum containers from TV dinners. For me, throwing those things away was liberating, but I also felt guilty. My logical mind and my subconscious programming were in conflict. Truth be told, if she weren’t already dead, seeing me toss all those useful items would have killed my mother!

Meanwhile, back at the current ranch…some drawers, cupboards and closets were easier to deal with than others. Getting rid of clothes from my bedroom closet was a piece of cake. I recruited my fashionista friend to help me. If it didn’t fit, was out of date, or just plain ugly, it went to the Goodwill pile. Cleaning out the fridge was a no-brainer—anything out of date went into the compost bin or the trash. Kitchen cabinets were also simple. I pulled everything out—dishes, pots and pans, and glasses—and separated items into keep and items to donate. The donate pile disappeared that day. The medicine chest, which only stocked cold meds and cough syrup, was also easy.

My office was the real challenge.

Do I really need my grandfather’s gold letter opener (yes), or the orange stapler my friend gave me when I started my own business in 1984 (absolutely), or 5 headsets (maybe)? What about the envelop full of old stamps (they’re worth something) or the miscellaneous power cords (I might need them)? What about all those books!

How long do I need to keep tax records? What about the floppy discs from the Mac computer I bought 34 years ago? No, I don’t still have the computer. And what about the file cabinets full of drafts, client projects, and medical and shot records for kids that are now adults?

Amidst confusion and despair, with the insight of a Buddhist Monk, the solution arrived. I packed everything I couldn’t part with and anything I thought I should keep into a three 4-drawer, ugly, beige, metal file cabinets and squeezed them into the corner of the garage. Out of sight for now but there just in case.

Marie Kondo would most definitely approve of my office. However, the weeds growing in the file cabinet and the rest of the garage…well, that’s another story.

So, what did I learn?

When it comes to clearing out personal and household items, I’m a pro. When it comes to business, I decided to error on the side of caution. Don’t get me wrong, I fully intend to eventually (one rainy day far into the future when I’m the last woman on earth) go through those file cabinets.

Jan Fishler is an author, motivational speaker and writing coach. You can learn more about her at janfishler.net and dontstopnow.us.

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Commentary on Writing and Life Tagged With: humor, MarieKondo, retreats, women, womensretreats, workshops

Why I Love Weekend Retreats and Workshops

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Why I Love Weekend Retreats and Workshops

(even the up-sell)

A few years back I decided to take the plunge and really learn about internet marketing. Specifically, I wanted to discover tips, tricks, and strategies to help me update my marketing skills. After reading several books on the subject, I realized I needed more support. That’s when I decided to attend a monthly business marketing meetup hosted by a local expert.

My first experience

The meetup consisted of a luncheon at a moderately priced restaurant and featured two or more speakers on various topics related to marketing. That’s when I learned about and took advantage of the up-sell–the pitch at the end where you try out and buy the experts upcoming services. I said yes to a FREE call to learn how the expert could help my business succeed. As a result,  I paid $197 for my very first weekend workshop event experience.

Because the event was only an hour or so from my home, I opted to commute. In  hindsight was a mistake because I missed out on the evening gatherings. However, during the day, I met some fascinating people and I learned a lot! There was an ongoing Power Point presentation, a detailed workbook, handouts, exercises, and Q&A. Essentially there was an overwhelming amount of information. So much information that if you didn’t have previous knowledge on the topic you’d be completely overwhelmed.

But that’s the point. The expert either overwhelms you with content or gives you almost everything you need so that you jump at chance to join the program that will make you more successful than you ever imagined possible.

All you have to do is cough up 10-15-20 thousand dollars or more. Of course, credit cards are good—especially the ones with no interest for the first 18 months.  Because,  if you do everything the expert says, you will make enough money to pay off the card before interest begins to accrue. One can only hope!

If you detect a bit of sarcasm, you’re right. Fortunately, I’m one of those people who always sleeps on any big decision, so I didn’t bite—at least not for the big up-sell.

But there is an art to the up-sell and when it’s done right, it is very tempting.

My second experience

Because I like learning new things and love to network, this weekend workshop experience was intriguing. While I didn’t sign up for the expert’s up-sell, I did sign up for a weekend workshop in Santa Cruz (pitched by a guest presenter). And one after that in Arizona (pitched by a different guest presenter). Followed by several online challenges. In October I’m headed to another weekend workshop in San Diego. This one is hosted by a woman who did pay the big bucks, followed all of the expert advice, and launched a very profitable business.

Here’s what I’ve learned: With the right mindset, these weekend workshops and retreats are a lot of fun and they provide a very affordable way to have a mini vacation as well as an opportunity to learn something new on a particular topic. They are perfect if you’re an introvert, who knows she needs to get out and meet new people. Because most of the events have practice exercises and networking opportunities, it’s impossible to not meet someone new. It’s also likely that you’ll also meet like-minded, smart people who want to improve some aspect of their business or themselves.

If your job is no longer challenging or interesting, a weekend retreat or workshop is a chance to check out or try something new and different. If you’re business is thriving, why not get away, have fun, enhance your skill set or knowledge base, and create a tax deduction in the process?

Not all retreats are related to business.  My friend Beth Nelson and I are hosting one specifically for women 45+ who want to rest, reflect and reset. To find out more,  check out Ignited Women Weekend Retreat Oct. 25-27, 2019 for Women 45+ at Land of Medicine Buddha in Soquel, CA. Join us for a weekend to rest, reflect, and reset with yoga, meditation, walking, writing and more

–with no big up-sell!

Filed Under: Writing Tips delete Tagged With: meditation, retreat, walking, women, workshop, yoga

Writing & the Self-Publishing Life

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Don't Stop Book

Don’t Stop Now is Available on Amazon

The Writing & Self-Publishing Life

Writing a book is rewarding. I love the time spent alone coming up with the idea, creating an outline, and letting the content flow. During my morning meditation, I enjoy imaging the finished product–the color of the cover, the type face, the back cover copy, who will be reading it, and how they will feel afterwards. What I love most is seeing the finished product.  I also love the idea of being an Indie author, figuring out the self-publishing process and knowing that the fate of my book is entirely in my hands.

Being an independent author is an enormous challenge.

There is so much information available on how to self-publish your book that it’s easy to become overwhelmed and do nothing. How do I know this?  When I self-published my first book, Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (An Adoption Memoir) in 2010., I read everything about self-publishing that I could get my hands on. As a result, I drove myself crazy thinking I had to do it all.

Choose marketing options that suite your personality

What I didn’t realize was the importance of choosing marketing options that suite your personality. For example, if you don’t like public speaking, don’t do it. No, you don’t have to have a presence on all social media or any for that matter.  Blogging isn’t for everyone and neither is becoming an Amazon bestselling author, or running a contest, or starting a podcast.

Going the Indie route also isn’t for everyone. It requires creativity and an entrepreneurial spirit, or the funds to hire professionals who can do it for you.  A word of caution: be sure to carefully research options and find a reputable publishing company (more about that in another post).

Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life 

I’ve spent the past year co-authoring a book, Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life. It’s for women 50+ who want to see how far they’ve come and determine where else they want to go. It’s finished and uploaded to Amazon.  My co-author, Elle Gianforte,  and I decided to independently publish the book. Why?  We have all the skills required to get the word out to our target marketing. And, we’ve  gotten really clear about what we are willing to do to publish the book. And, it’s not all that complicated.

Here’s our plan:

PRIOR TO PUBLICATION:

  1. Create a great website: www.dontstopnow.us  Done!
  2. Create a DontStopNow Facebook page. Done!
  3. Write and post several blogs on topics related to our book. Invite guest bloggers. Done!
  4. Order ISBN number and Bar Code: Done!
  5. Hire a professional book designer: Patty Arnold, Menagerie Design and Publishing. Done!
  6. Hire a professional proof reader (There is no way you can do this yourself): Kit Bailey.Done!
  7. Find a company offering Print On Demand. We worked with Create Space. Done!
  8. Upload book to Amazon. Done!
  9. Revise Author Page. Done!
  10. Go back to book designer and get a Kindle version of the book. Almost done!
  11. Pick a date for a book launch: October 21 — coming soon!

AFTER PUBLICATION

  1. Host a publication launch party — with wine, food, and a discount price on books.
  2. Use Facebook, personal email, and handouts to invite local people to the party.
  3. After the party, send emails to everyone we know with a link to buy the book.
  4. Send follow-up emails to anyone who buys the book asking for a review.
  5. Send a press release to our local newspaper.
  6. Offer to speak at meetings and events where we can sell books.
  7. Promote the book to appropriate podcasters and radio producers.
  8. Contact independent book stores in surrounding areas.
  9. Beginning in January 2019, host a monthly Zoom call on topics covered in the book.
  10. Conduct 3 month, 6 month, and 9 month reviews and adjust our marketing strategy as needed.

Tip:

If you have a book inside you — stop talking about it and  just write it! If you’ve written a book and have the desire to publish it independently, stick with marketing strategies that you’ll enjoy.

 

Jan Fishler, MA, is the co-author of a new book, Don’t Stop Now, Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life (DontStopNow.us). She is also the author of Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (An Adoption Memoir), and has written several articles about alternative health and PTSD. You can learn more about Jan at www.JanFishler.net.

Filed Under: Commentary on Writing and Life Tagged With: author, book marketing, publication, writing, writing a book

Onward and Upward

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The last 12 months disappeared. One day I was working on a book and the next day my volunteer efforts at a local public access television station turned into a full-time gig without compensation. Call me crazy, but it took me 9 months to come to my senses, i.e. realize that my good deeds were futile and it was time to walk away from what started as a desire to make a contribution, and became a thankless series of tasks. I thought I could save the day with my 25-years of experience as a writer/producer but the hole was deep and money was scarce.

As a good friend of mine always says when times are tough, “Onward and upward, then.” My first thought was to get back to my blog. Imagine my surprise when my site was gone. Apparently, I’d miss the deadline (by several months) to renew my domain. In spite of wanting to scream, I convinced myself to not panic. In a flashback, I recalled the system bomb that made a book disappear back in 1984. I was working on my first computer and didn’t know about backing up. Boy, did I learn that lesson in a hurry. That time I did panic, but I also learned that rewriting is faster and often better than a previous draft. At least that’s what I told myself to keep from slashing my wrists. Then, just in case all was lost, I convinced myself that maybe it was time for me to do something else like become a professional chef or a dog walker–something that had nothing to do with technology.

This time, because I’m older (ugh) and wiser (at least about some things), I called my friend Evelyn who built my previous site. As luck would have it, she had a backup from last March so I didn’t have to reinvent the wheel. I purchased a new domain (my old one would cost me $300 dollars — highway robbery but that’s another story) and I’m now .net rather than .com. Evelyn installed a new theme, which is still being tweaked (is a website ever done?) Most importantly, I have visions of completing a book I was writing “before my venture down the public access rabbit hole” and of showing other writers and content experts how to get their ideas on to the page.

Today’s Writing Tip: (Don’t volunteer — Write your book)

Filed Under: Commentary on Writing and Life

When Life Gets In the Way of Work: Getting Back on the Horse

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When Life Gets In the Way of Work: Getting Back on the Horse

I had a lot of momentum going in the beginning of 2015. I was close to finishing the book I’d been working on for the past two years; I was building my platform as a writer through regular blogs, tweets, and Facebook posts; and I was actually doing a better-than-average job promoting (and selling) Flex Your Writing Muscle. In addition, I was getting a lot of positive feedback from the bi-monthly “Healthy Options” column in our local paper. It seemed like I was on track and on a role professionally, and I was happily settling into the rhythm of success.

On January 31, I had an experience that ultimately led me down an unexpected path—a path that I am still processing. In preparation for a “Healthy Options” article, I interviewed an equine therapist. I wouldn’t describe myself as a horse person, but I did take horseback riding in college and I never turned down an opportunity to ride. I was also looking forward to learning more about this “horse whisperer”—something I wasn’t convinced existed. Sitting bareback on a medicine horse was an intriguing opportunity, but I didn’t have the slightest notion how that day would turn my world upside-down. [Read more…] about When Life Gets In the Way of Work: Getting Back on the Horse

Filed Under: Commentary on Writing and Life Tagged With: equine therapy, Essay, writing essay

A List of 15 Go-To Books for Writers

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A List of 15 Go-To Books for Writers

Recently, I’ve been recycling a lot of my paperback books at our local community book swap. The first Sunday of each month, between noon and 2:00 PM, people in my community can drop books off the local grange and take books they want to read. No money is exchanged, and there is no limit to the number of books you bring or take. Volunteers sort the incoming books by subject, making it easy to find something you might want to read. To enhance the experience, local musicians often volunteer to play. Not only is the community book swap an excellent way to eliminate clutter, but it’s a great way to meet like-minded folks.

Most of the books I bring are fiction. Many have been sitting on a shelf collecting dust for years. So far, I’ve never missed a book I’ve given away, but it occurred to me that should I have a moment or regret, I can always download the same book onto my Kindle—a device that works for everything except reference books.  This brings me to my go-to list.

There are certain books on my shelf that I will never loan or give away. These are my go-to books. The books I refer to when I’m writing, the books that contain the tools I depend on (proper: on which I depend).

While some writers are blessed with an almost innate ability to retain every rule of grammar and syntax they have ever read, I often need to look things up. Even then, when the content is really important, I run it by an editor. Because I know I’m not alone, I thought I’d share the list of books I will probably keep forever.  Here they are in no particular order:

  1. The Oxford American College Dictionary
  2. Rogets Thesaurus
  3. The Chicago Manual of Style
  4. The Copyeditors Handbook by Amy Einsohn
  5. Everybody Writes by Ann Handley
  6. The Art of Fiction by John Gardner
  7. Bird By Bird by Anne Lamott
  8. Tools of the Writer’s Craft by Sands Hall
  9. The Elements of Style by Strunk and White
  10. Aspects of the Novel by E.M. Forster
  11. Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Browne and King
  12. How Fiction Works by Oakley Hall
  13. The Creative Writer’s Style Guide by Christopher Leland

 

And because every writer needs to understand Social Media….I’m including:

 

  1. 500 Social Media Marketing Tips by Andrew Macarthy
  2. The New Rules of Marketing and PR by David Scott

What books are on your go-to list?  They don’t have to be related to writing. The other books I hold on to are those that inspire me or contain words of wisdom.

——

Jan Fishler is the producer of the Path to Publication DVD series filmed at the Squaw Valley Community of Writers featuring Amy Tan, Janet Fitch, Mark Childress and other well-known authors, agents, and publishers. She is the author of Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (An Adoption Memoir) and Flex Your Writing Muscle – 365 Days of Writing Prompts. She writes articles for VietNow National Magazine and has a bi-monthly column, “Healthy Options” in The Union newspaper.

Filed Under: Writing Tips Tagged With: Authors, books for writers, learning social media, social media marketing, writing

Try Writing Prompts — See Where They Take You

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Try Writing Prompts — See Where They Take You

I thought I’d start this month off by following a prompt from my book, Flex Your Writing Muscle—365 Writing Prompts, which is available on Amazon in paperback and in kindle. The prompts for June are based on The Book of Runes by Ralph Blum. My recommendation for all of the prompts is to pick one and write/type as quickly as you can for five minutes. If you find yourself lost in your words, then by all means continue. If not, close the book and move on to something more inspiring.

Don’t be surprised if the prompts jump-start your writing. A prompt could easily become your next blog post or the beginning of a new article or short story.

The prompt for June 1: What do you require for your wellbeing? I will admit, sometimes it’s easier to come up with these prompts than it is to answer them. Here goes…

Like many women,  my wellbeing requirements have changed over the years. What I required as a single person working in San Francisco changed when I became a parent, and continues to change as my adult children become more self-sufficient. As a single woman,  my wellbeing depended a lot on how my friendships were going, and getting through various ups and downs that came with navigating relationships. As a parent, my wellbeing is often tied into the health and happiness of my children. I want them to thrive, and when they hit a rough patch, it can become a difficult time for me too. As my adult children become more independent and self-sufficient, I can turn my attention to other things.

Two things that affect  my wellbeing are my health and my work. Fortunately, my health is better than that of most people my age. I like being strong and fit and spend about six hours a week lifting weights and taking a dance aerobics class at my local gym. Working out helps me focus and decreases stress. It’s something I’ve been doing for decades and I have no intention of ever stopping. Occasionally, I might take a break, but I always come back.

My wellbeing is also tied up in my work—whether I’m writing for myself or for others—and in being of service. Early in my career I vacillated between corporate gigs and the nonprofit sector. I needed money to pay off my student loans, but experienced a great deal of satisfaction in helping others. As a result, I often worked in the nonprofit world—writing grants, serving on a board of directors, and even producing a telethon. Today, I’m still on the board of a non-profit and I also write grants for a local organization. I volunteer because giving makes me feel good and enhances my overall wellbeing.

If I’m completely honest, there are other things that increase my wellbeing…I love a chilled glass of good Chardonnay, a thick juicy burger hot off the grill, hiking just about anywhere—even in the rain, walking with my dog, seeing a good movie in a theater, bag of large buttered popcorn in my lap, having lunch with a good friend, and dancing to a live Zydeco music.

When I look at the wellbeing I have in my life, I feel an enormous amount appreciation and gratitude and see a positive cycle that continues.

What brings you the peace, comfort, security, and happiness you associate with wellbeing? Take five minutes to answer that question and see where it takes you.

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Jan Fishler is the producer of the Path to Publication DVD series filmed at the Squaw Valley Community of Writers featuring Amy Tan, Janet Fitch, Mark Childress and other well-known authors, agents, and publishers. She is the author of Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (An Adoption Memoir) and Flex Your Writing Muscle – 365 Days of Writing Prompts. She writes articles for VietNow National Magazine and has a bi-monthly column, “Healthy Options” in The Union newspaper.

 

 

Filed Under: Writing Prompts Tagged With: Authors, Writers, writing prompts, writing tips

Getting Words to Flow – 3 Steps for Letting Go of Self-Judgment

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Getting Words to Flow – 3 Steps for Letting Go of Self-Judgment

I’ve made a commitment to blog at least twice a week to provide useful information to help people who write (that’s pretty much everyone who is in business). Getting concepts and ideas out of your head in a way that lets words easily flow on to the page is something we can all benefit from. One of the stumbling blocks for many of us is self-judgment. So often, our critical or negative thoughts about ourselves (and our ability to write) sabotage our efforts before we even begin. As a result, we set ourselves up for failure. We might have an absolutely brilliant idea for an article, blog post, or short story, but a negative thought about our ability prevents us from moving forward.

Many times it’s a voice from the past—a parent who didn’t think you were as creative or smart as your sibling, or a teacher who gave an essay or book report you wrote a low mark. Over time, these comments and criticisms chip away at our self-esteem, and eventually, we replace the word can with can’t. We begin to believe our thoughts and turn them into stories and a self-fulfilling prophecy about our capabilities.

Sometimes, it’s what is not said that harms us. Because actions speak louder than words, maybe nothing was said out loud about your efforts, but when you didn’t get the attention you so rightly deserved, you got the message that what you have to offer isn’t valued. This childhood programming can affect us throughout our lives, and prevent us from doing the work we are here to do.

We are all creative beings, yet many of us let judgment by others stand in our way. Writers see this most often when they are unable to fill a blank page or are thwarted by writer’s block. But it can happen to anyone regardless of their field. Often, self-judgment is what prevents you from making the money you deserve, living the life you desire, or getting the promotion you have wanted. It can be an obstacle from attracting the love you yearn for or living the life you crave.

The question then is what to do about it? The first step is to notice any time the judgment of others creeps into your consciousness. It might appear as a negative belief or an obvious negative thought (I’m not pretty, handsome, smart, or good enough to…) or it could be an irrational justification (Brent has worked here longer and is therefore better suited for the job than I am) even when you know that thought is not true.

The next step is to take a close look at the thought, trace it back to the source, and reconsider the message. Don’t be surprised to discover that you have been a victim of someone else’s projection or their overly critical nature. The intent is not to blame, but to observe the source. If you’re familiar with the work of Byron Katie, this is when you ask yourself, “Is it true?” Most of the time it is not.

Finally, take time to rewrite your history. Sit quietly and picture what should o have been said, or how the situation could have been handled, and replay the ideal scene in your mind until you feel the appreciation and recognition you rightly deserve.

—–

Jan Fishler is the producer of the Path to Publication DVD series filmed at the Squaw Valley Community of Writers featuring Amy Tan, Janet Fitch, Mark Childress and other well-known authors, agents, and publishers. She is the author of Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (An Adoption Memoir) and Flex Your Writing Muscle – 365 Days of Writing Prompts. She writes articles for VietNow National Magazine and has a bi-monthly column, “Healthy Options” in The Union newspaper.

 

Filed Under: Writing Tips Tagged With: Article Writing, blogging, self-judgment, writer's block, Writers, writing

Stay Motivated by Sticking With Your Goals and Focusing Your Attention

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Stay Motivated by Sticking with Your Goals and Focusing Your Attention

There are some mornings when I wake up completely inspired and motivated to write. Maybe I’ve had a dream about something I’ve been mulling around in my head, or I’ve read something that is truly inspirational and it propels me forward, or a writing prompt encourages my efforts. There are other days though, when I’m unclear about my direction, and in spite of having a deadline; I’m at a loss for words. It’s not like I have writers block or am stymied by the dreaded white page—that’s what occurs when you have an idea but just can’t seem to develop the content. What I’m talking about is lack of clarity and purpose, which is what happens when we lose sight of our goals, and consequently forget about the carefully crafted path we’ve developed to achieve them.

Recently, I’ve decided to shift my focus a bit. Instead of continuing to make a book I’ve been collaborating on for almost two years a priority, I’ve turned my attention back to my own work and to that of coaching others who want to write or who need help getting the word out about their services.  I have a novel I’d like to complete, writing workshops I like to teach (and therefore need to promote), and I have a Super Simple Social Media Marketing concept I’m excited to share. There is also the writing I do for clients (articles, blogs, newsletters, even grant writing).  Essentially, my day is filled with writing and promotion—at least it should be.

Because, my nature is taking on too much at once, over the years, I’ve developed a method to help me focus my attention. I’m sharing it here because you might want to come up with something similar. As my grandmother used to say, “Who knows, it might help!” If it does, please let me know.

I begin by making a list of my goals followed by how I’m going to achieve them, and why each is important to me. The how becomes my daily action plan, and the why is what keeps me motivated. It’s a simple list with ongoing activities that primarily revolve around my blog posts. The mere act of making a list like the one below not only sets my intention, but it’s also a tool for focusing my efforts.

  1. Continue building a platform as a writer—blog, post, tweet (This will help find a publisher for Cooking Up a Plan: Turn Your Novel Idea Into a Book)
  2. Promote my writing services—attend writing Meetups, groups and events, write and send marketing emails, write and distribute quarterly MailChimp newsletter (A lot of people are overwhelmed by having to write and I can easily help them)
  3. Promote my books—volunteer to speak about writing, blog, post, tweet (My most recent book, Flex Your Writing Muscle: 365 Writing Prompts is guaranteed to get the creative juices flowing and also help people learn more about themselves)
  4. Promote my Write YOUR Story and Free Yourself to Write workshops—set a date and location, distribute flyers, promote on Facebook and LinkedIn. (We all have important stories to tell and my makes it easy for everyone—even people who don’t usually write)
  5. Promote myself as a writing/marketing/PR coach—attend Meetups, groups and events, write and send marketing emails, write and distribute quarterly MailChimp newsletter. (I always feel better when I’m helping others)

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Jan Fishler is the producer of the Path to Publication DVD series filmed at the Squaw Valley Community of Writers featuring Amy Tan, Janet Fitch, Mark Childress and other well-known authors, agents, and publishers. She is the author of Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (An Adoption Memoir) and Flex Your Writing Muscle – 365 Days of Writing Prompts. She writes articles for VietNow National Magazine and has a bi-monthly column, “Healthy Options” in The Union newspaper.

Filed Under: Writing Tips Tagged With: Goals, motivation, Writers, writing

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